10,000 B.C.


I recently saw the movie shitfest known as 10,000 B.C. I did not have high expectations going into the film, but figured it would look pretty cool seeing men fighting against mastodons, saber-tooth cats, and against each other. Sadly there was very little of that, and plenty of mind numbing stupidity.

The plot is pretty much the same as Pathfinder, a guy must rise up to become the warrior of destiny in order to save his tribe from invaders who are eons more advanced (they have horses) and come from a land far away.

Many sites have pointed out the ridiculous errors of the movie, and I do not want to seem like I wanted this to be a documentary, but some accuracy would be nice. American’s quickly became one of the dumbest peoples in the world and now this movie will just help push that statistic even higher (or lower)…

The point in the movie where I truly got annoyed (I bared with domesticated horses and even the metal tools) happened when they reached Egypt and the pyramids were being built, and with the help of domesticated mastodons. The Egyptians (not aliens, not Atlanteans)built the first one around 2700 BCE. Mammoths and mastodons were extinct by then and were never used for domestication.

Here is a list of things that were not around at that point: swords, metal-working, pyramids, large cities, domesticated horses, large birds that could attack them (those were in South America), domesticated mastodons, stirrups, agriculture, large sailboats…I could keep going on, but it will be fun to see if you guys can name any as well.

I do not get too bent out of shape about the whole ending, where the North African (I have to assume that is where the individual is from, the geography of this movie made absolutely no sense) gives our hero some beans and corn to plant, thus teaching the people agriculture. Problem with this, corn comes from the Americas, and neither of these were being cultivated at this time. Hell agriculture around 10,000 B.C. probably involved seeing some wild food that they could eat, and trying to protect/nurture it in order to constantly eat from it. After awhile, they noticed how they could control the plants and eventually were able to settle down. This took years, not just one growing season.

There was one bright spot in the movie: Camilla Belle. Absolutely hot and she has the same birthday as me (October 2nd).

3 thoughts on “10,000 B.C.

  1. Haha! That was some funny stuff. I felt the exact same way about this *ahem* movie. I hadn’t even gotten towards the end before I lost whatever miniscule amount of interest I had left to go online and look for pictures of Camilla Belle(that’s how I found your page, btw). You know a movie’s bad when you start doing something else in the middle of it. Oh, and I’m so glad you mentioned the geography! My god, where the friggin’ hell did this movie take place, huh??? One minute they’re in their own village and it’s snowing(plus they mostly appeared to be caucasians so I assumed it was somewhere in Europe) but then you have them traversing jungles, and then they’re in the Sahara?! Was this all supposed to be the same general vicinity of one another??? WTF?! Again, terrible, terrible movie. Just TERRIBLE.

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