Memorial Day

The day where we remember and honor our brave soldiers fighting for us in a senseless war. Oh do not worry, I am not about to go on some kind of political rant, I actually want to tell you about one of my favorite Memorial Day memories and how it almost resulted in me not having my current job or living in Pittsburgh.

This was probably four or five years ago, I had only been a server at the restaurant I used to work at for about a year. I had to work 11-8 on Memorial Day. I was annoyed because I wanted to go do some family stuff back in Philipsburg, and did not think it was fair that I had to work even though I worked the night before Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years Eve (actually I worked 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.), and President’s Day (hey, I like President’s Day, big holiday for me).

Around one o’clock my boss realizes that it is pretty dead and starts to send people home, since we were getting time and a half to sit around. I am next on the list to go home early and it is rapidly approaching four, I figure someone will come on and the bossman will send me home.

Then, the unthinkable starts to happen. It rains. I get sat a table with a four people, parents and two children. I will pretty much never forget this conversation that ensued between the lady and I.

Me: Hi folks, what can I start ya off to drink?
Lady: Well that did not sound very chipper!
Me: Sorry, not really with it today, wanted off for Memorial Day. I wanted to go see my family and enjoy a nice cookout. I apologize.
Lady: It is raining now, so you are not missing too much.
Me (my irritation becomes very noticeable): That’s fantastic, we are understaffed, which means everyone will leave their funtime picnics and come here. I will get slammed and not have a chance to leave anywhere close to my end time of 8 o’clock. If it stops raining, my boss will be too afraid to send me home early in case it rains again, and I will make absolutely no money. Any way you look at it, today is a lose-lose situation.
Lady: I would like to speak with your manager.
Me: Gladly.

Needless to say, my boss almost fired me. At that point, I would not have cared. So anyways, go out, enjoy this lovely day. Have a picnic, drink some beers, and remember, I will be at work not having fun in any way whatsoever.

5 thoughts on “Memorial Day

  1. Josh, every time you tell that story, I start laughing my ass off. Can’t help it.

    Oh, and Jay Bruce did phenomenal in his debut with the Reds starting in the outfield. I’d recommend picking him up.

  2. That story makes me realize I wouldn’t have lasted long as a server. haha

    I don’t really understand why your complaining would want her to talk to a manager, though. I mean, if I had a server complaining about a bad day, it wouldn’t offend me. It would either: A) make me feel bad and leave a bigger tip or B) cheer me up if I was having a bad day.

    This is random, but it’s somewhat related…

    I had a dream last night I had a yard sale. I was trying to get rid of stuff I don’t use and clothes I don’t wear. None of these items are junk or anything so I was expecting reasonable amounts of money for each, as opposed to “a nickel for this, a quarter for that” like at most yard sales.

    But every time someone found something they liked, they wanted it for much less than I was willing to sell for. For example, a lady offered me $5 for my mini fridge. I got into an arguement with her that a mini fridge doesn’t really depreciate in value and that selling it for $5 is ridiculous.

    After like 15 more people wasted my time with their offers, I couldn’t take it anymore. A lady came to me expecting to pay a dollar for an Abercrombie jacket, something I should’ve gotten between $25 and $50 for. I told her I’d rather keep the jacket or give it away to someone who really needed it than sell it for a buck.

    She got pissed, started complaining. I laughed in her face and told her to get the hell out’a here. She stood there in shock, and then said, “Who’s in charge here? I’d like to speak to whoever’s in charge.”

    I laughed, and said, “This is a yard sale, dumbass, not a restaurant. You think you’re gonna get me in trouble with my manager? Sorry, but, I’m in charge here, and you can leave now, cheap-ass.”

    Since I woke up, I’ve been considering having a yard sale. Not only will I make some money from shit I don’t use, but I can also completely go against the whole “The customer is always right” motto. I can be a dick to bad customers without consequence – it’d be great. I think all restaurant employees, particularly servers, should do this at some point in their lives just to get some sort of redemption…

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