X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Let me first say that I had very low expectations going into this movie. That is probably a good thing because I could not be let down. The movie was not terrible, but it was not particularly good. Sadly it made enough money that they want to do a sequel and that movie execs will decide to make more of these kinds of comic films instead of movies like Watchmen.

I will now try to explain this film’s very silly plot. Logan and Victor are brothers. They fight in a bunch of wars together. Victor becomes a bit unstable and enjoys killing a bit too much. Logan does not. They join up with William Stryker and his team of mutants. Logan quits the group because they are about to murder a whole village.

He is living in the mountains with a hot woman (Kayla Silverfox) and he works as a lumberjack. Victor pays a visit and kills Kayla. Logan goes to Stryker and receives his adamantium and learns that Stryker wants to erase his memories. He escapes and begins trying to find Victor. He learns that Stryker is kidnapping mutants and taking them to the island, which Gambit escaped from. He enlists Gambit’s help and he takes him to Three Mile Island.

He finds out that Kayla is still alive and that she is a mutant. Their relationship was just a ruse. Her sister (Emma Frost) is being help captive by Stryker and he used her to get to Logan. Stryker activates Weapon XI, which is Deadpool. Apparently Wade Wilson with a bunch of other mutants powers stuffed into him.

Deadpool fights with Logan on top of the cooling tower, Deadpool almost kills him, but Victor comes to lend a hand. He says that only he has the right to kill Logan. They battle with Deadpool, and Logan cuts his head off. The damage destroys some of the tower (I bet that is what really happened at Three Mile Island…)

Kayla dies. Logan is sad because she says that she really did love him. The kids escape with the help of Charles Xavier and his cool helicopter. Stryker shoots Logan in the head with an adamantium bullet, which causes Logan to lose his memories. I guess there is a scene in the ending credits of Logan in a Japanese bar, the girl asks if he is drinking to forget, and he says no, he is drinking to remember…

The Good
Hmm, what was good about the movie? Some of the fight scenes I guess. What else? The chicks in the movie were pretty hot. Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson at the beginning was pretty cool, and Liev Schreiber does a good job as Sabretooth.

The Bad
-So let me get this straight, Victor does not remember that Logan is his brother? When they square off in the first X-Men movie, how come he does not mention they are brothers?

-They had flat screen computer monitors back then? Did the one on Stryker’s wall, that he was using to watch the battle through Deadpool’s eyes, look a bit more modern?

-If Wolverine is the best at what he does and what he does isn’t very nice, then I am guessing what he does is get beat down by everyone because that is all I really saw him doing.

-I felt like Stryker’s plan should have been part of this season of 24, it was that stupid.

Comic Book Movie Grade: B-/C+

10 thoughts on “X-Men Origins: Wolverine

  1. I’ll add some Bad:

    – Wolverine not only gets owned in every fight, he’s barely even angry. After Silverfox “dies,” Wolverine is in good enough spirits to talk motorcycles with an old man and act sheepish after cutting through their sink. He’s also calm enough to go and have a friendly brawl with Blob. Where’s the uncontrollable anger? So much for walking the line between animal and man.

    – “Did you call me Blob?” Terrible.

    – Adamantium bullet. If it doesn’t pierce his skull, then how is its effect any different than a normal bullet?

    – If Professor X knew where this island was and that mutant children were being held there, why did it take Cyclops getting captured for him to care enough to go save them? It’s not like he and cyclops were bros at that point.

  2. Yeah, I thought the point was to show him all berserk and killing just about everyone…

    I think the professor was still a grad student at this point, so he may not have been able to locate the island yet. I think he received his PhD two years later…

    Also, what the hell point is there of having a team like that? Agent Zero could have easily taken everyone out by himself when they are in Africa.

    Who the hell stops on the middle of a bridge to have a discussion?

    Did the island have the worst security ever? Wolverine just walks right in.

  3. That’s a great progression of Charles Xavier’s codenames, based on his education level: Bachelor X, Master X, Professor X.

    Agent Zero was pretty badass, yeah. Charlie had no point at all, running around making lightbulbs work. I don’t know what Blob’s power even was, so I’m not sure what he brought to the team.

    I didn’t even think about that, but yeah, he just walks right into that compound on the island.

    When Wolverine kills Agent Zero, it’s so passive. Why can’t he get pissed off and go stab him or something? Jesus Christ, this movie needed some balls.

  4. GED X.

    It would have been great if Desmond would have shown up and tackled Sabretooth and said something like “I gotcher back brotha” to Charlie.

    On a side note, how is there a shooter style video game of Wolverine? Most of those games don’t you have a health meter? Since no one can kill him, what is the danger in the game?

  5. Hmmm. I typed a fairly long comment a bit ago but apparently it never went through, so here’s an ammended version:

    I’m assuming you’re referring to the commercial, which depicts a first person Wolverine. The game is actually third person though, akin to God of War or Devil May Cry.

    His health bar recharges over time, like in most current first-person shooters. If it’s depleted entirely during a fight, pleyers are hit with a “Wolverine is captured” screen, rather than a “game over” screen. This makes sense since Wolvie has been beaten to the point of unconsciousness before, rendering him susceptible to capture.

    Wolvie is also captured if he falls in water. This does not make sense. (Unless all that adamantium causes his buoyancy level to be drastically diminished – any canon proof of that?)

    In the last Superman game, the health bar displayed the overall health of the city of Metropolis, rather than Superman’s own.

  6. Gideon…thank you for the help. I know in a comic Wolverine has been stuck in space, and fell to earth, everything but his skeleton burning up on reentry and he still regenerated…

    I always wondered if he would sink. I think it would have been cool if they would have shown what would really happen when you add 400 lbs of adamantium to a person’s skeletal system: logan just lies there, unable to get up.

  7. That reminds me, you mentioned that no one can kill him, but wouldn’t / shouldn’t asphyxiation work? That’s not something one can really just regenerate from; Can’t Wolverine drown? And how was he in space without a suit in the first place? The pressure problems can be solved by the regeneration factor, but that still doesn’t address the lack of air.

  8. I never said there was any kind of scientific reasoning behind it. I mean, how can he get shot pre-adamantium and survive? You would think if his healing factor did not regenerate the damaged heart damage, he would die, right? apparently not….

    I wonder if the asphyxiation thing has ever been explored…

  9. I think he would stay dead as long as he was in the water, but would have the capacity to heal if he were removed. I’ve never seen it explored in comics, though. I’m basing it on the fact that he’s had every ounce of flesh burned from his skeleton, and he still regrew his entire body.

    I guess it all depends on whether his brain can regenerate or whether it can die.

  10. I remember in this post, I talked about how Logan goes towards the light, blah blah blah. That was just that issue though, so who really knows.

    Even if someone killed him, they would just bring him back like two months later. Hell, wasn’t that the whole point of Enemy of the State? The Hand “killed” him and turned him into one of them…ah, Mark Millar stories.

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