Today I went to the Penn State pool with Kacie. Most of you that know me, understand my disdain for swimming. People think I am weird because I do not even go into the water. I can swim, I just do not enjoy it for some reason. So while I was lying there reading my book, I got to make a few observations about the people around me, which I will now share with you.
Almost everyone has a tattoo of some kind. Seriously, I would say 90% of the PSU students at the pool today had some kind of idiotic tattoo. I heard one group of guys making fun of another guy because he had the Penn State symbol on his chest. Sadly the guy doing most of the trash talking, had the Pennsylvania state outline in the exact same spot. Yeah, real cool pal.
I am getting that old, that it seems weird to see that many tattoos? I do not remember everyone in college having a tattoo during my time there.
Obviously, deuschebags have been around since the beginning of time. I imagine one caveman being all cocky and walking around talking about how he killed a mammoth and banged a bunch of chicks (actually, I am guessing that is all cavemen talked about, every single one of them…)
Every time a guy gets out of the pool, they all would flex and act like some kind of model. It is quite amusing to watch, I half expected some of them to start beating their chests in hopes of attracting a mate.
Also, talking about weight lifting for twenty minutes (loud enough so everyone can hear you) is not cool. No one gives a crap how much you bench press, or what kind of workout you do. You are a deusch, give it a rest.
All of those idiots are worth enduring though because there was a plethora of hot girls walking around. Unfortunately, as soon as they started talking, my brain wanted to explode.
Nothing makes me feel old like listening to girls discuss the movie Mean Girls. Also, the loud bitch talking about how her one friend was a dork because he was reading a book with a highlighter should probably be shot in the face. I would imagine he was reading for a class, if not though, good for him, active reading is a good thing. Sorry my dear, he should have been reading some celebrity magazine.
Another fun thing to occupy my time with was the guy and girl having a fight. The girl was very hot (way too hot for the guy she was fighting with). Apparently he came by the pool to check up on her, which pissed her off. All she wanted was a day to hang out with her friends, and he was upset because he did not know who she was with.
The girls sitting near me started commenting on how he was probably cheating on her because he was so insecure. I do not care either way, I just kept wondering why he was dressed like a retard. Hat cocked to the side, baggy mesh shorts, and a Dodgers shirt. Someone needed to punch him in the ear. The best part of their argument though was she kept pushing her boobs together (which were fantastic) and that pretty much made my day.
There were also two really stupid signs hanging around the pool. The first one reads “No Breath Holding.” What the hell does that mean? You should not hold your breath? That seems like a sure fire way to die underwater, unless you have gills.
The second sign reads “”Parents” watch your children.” Why is parents in quotes? I understand that maybe the people there with children are not their parents, but it should then say something like “Guardians” or “Person Who Kidnapped Those Children.”
Sadly for me though, since I never get outside in the summertime, I tend to get a little burnt. I used to never burn, I guess I lost any pigment from my days of being outside…this picture is not very good, but hopefully it shows the redness.