Language of Stupidity

There are three phrases that piss me off. Before I tell you what they are, let me first explain that I completely understand that language evolves over time and sometimes popular usage becomes the actual usage. For example, everyone knows that the phrase “to pull an upset” is relatively new (after the horse Upset beat Man o’ War).

I just feel that people using the incorrect term does not mean we should change the definition to fit their stupidity. I am not saying I am perfect, and hell, I know for a fact that I have used these on occasion. However, that does not make it right, and after I say these things, I usually kick myself for it.

This is one thing I know that I never say: “My back is itchy, please itch it for me.” I absolutely hate this expression. If you have an itch, you scratch.

The online definition has an informal meaning, which basically allows people to be mentally challenged.

I know I have probably said something like this “she was literally 500 pounds!” You may be thinking what is wrong with that? Unfortunately, literally can be used to mean actually, but not with an exaggeration. If you are talking about a girl you banged, and unless she really weighed 500 pounds, you should not say literally.

This word annoys me. Most people say something is ironic when they really mean it is a coincidence. For example, this is not ironic: “Oh my god, we have the same birthday!”

I believe George Carlin put it best about irony in his book Brain Droppings.

If a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck, he is the victim of an accident. If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah! Then he is the victim of an irony.

That is why Carlin was a genius and I am a moron.

3 thoughts on “Language of Stupidity

  1. I always thought the itch thing was just backwards PA speak, lol. I had never even heard of it being used as a verb until I came to State College. Kinda like not using the verb “to be”. Never heard that one before, or since.

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