New Moon

I did it. I went and saw New Moon with Kacie. It was by far the cinematic masterpiece I had envisioned. Just kidding, it sucked a big, fat donkey dong.

I did not see the first one, but I did read the first book, which I liked so much I never bothered to pick up the rest of them. I cannot even explain how bad this movie was for me. Seriously, if someone would have ran in with a gun, I would have volunteered to be shot first.

Why was it so bad? The acting is awful. Kristen Stewart…AHHH. I am getting frustrated just trying to explain how bad she was. I cannot tell if Bella is the most worthless character ever, or if Stewart is such a bad actor that it feels like Bella has nothing. Why would anyone care if she lost her soul, there is absolutely nothing there.

And, why are all these hot guys (I use that term loosely, since women apparently find Robert Pattinson attractive) trying to get her? She sucks.

As you can tell, I cannot even put into words my hatred for this film. So, I will allow others to do it for me. Check out the filmdrunk collection of reviews.

Also, over at Skepchick, there is a fantastic review of the movie (it is funny and thought provoking). I recommend you go read this review now, here is one of my favorite parts of it.

I maintain: The Twilight series is dangerous. Not because Bella is a brainless, empty, shell of a female character. I don’t have a problem with weak women in the movies. What bothers me is that this tripe is being sold not just as normal but as DESIRABLE. As something that women should aspire to. Young girls around the country are debating whether she should choose Edward or Jacob. Which abuse is better? He’s insanely jealous and stalks me or he can barely control his anger and may physically abuse me at any moment?

Here is a funny video making fun of the movie:

Also, anyone read Memnoch the Devil? Did Stephanie Meyer steal the idea of a vampire revealing himself to the world as suicide from that book? Armand did it towards the end…

I decided to add this clip of Kevin Smith talking about the movie as well because it is hilarious (although, I may have posted it before…)

2 thoughts on “New Moon

  1. You poor, poor man. There are no words that I can find to properly console you for the hurt you have endured. All I can say is that girls find RPattz hot because it seems like girls these days want to date and sleep with homosexual men.

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