My Future!

Recently I saw this story over at Skepchick.  Since most of you hate reading all these crazy links, allow me to sum up.  This kid gets killed, his mom decides to harvest his sperm and then use that to fertilize some eggs and have herself some grandbabies.

At first I thought “wow, that is creepy.”  After reading the article, it sounds like the lady is just trying to find a way to deal with her grief.  Then, I started to think about this from a biological perspective.

Her son was killed in a brawl or something like that, therefore, he was not the fittest of the species.  He should not be allowed to reproduce, right?  That is kind of the downfall by dying early, you do not pass on your genes.  But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized this could be the perfect way to say “screw you evolution.”  Die, and then pass your genes on, it’s brilliant.

As some of you know, I do not want children, for a whole plethora of reasons.  Unfortunately, that means that I have no real reason for being (from a biological standpoint).  And if one person says that god has a purpose for me, I will punch you right in the nutsack.  Unless you are a girl, then you are getting punched in the ovary (probably the left ovary to be exact).

I want everyone to know that I want this to happen when I die.  Please feel free to harvest all the sperm you want from my dead body and use it to impregnate hundreds of women.  In fact, I will begin saving my own in large quantities, in my freezer.

Well now that you are all disgusted by my warped mind, enjoy the beginning of your week…

3 thoughts on “My Future!

  1. Greg…especially if I offer you a freezer pop.

    IKNAB…haha, Tosh is brilliant. I loved when he teed off on the Apple iPad the other day. And how much joy he took in making fun of nerds.

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