Odds and Ends

Big Ben

I cannot believe I have the urge to talk about this, but I do.  Unless you are living under a rock the past few days, you may have heard about Ben Roethlisberger’s recent run in with the law.  He is accused of sexual assault down in Georgia.

I would link to any of the sites out there making fun or posting the full story, but I really do not see the need for it.  Since I do not know the facts of the case, I will not say too much about it.

The best thing I have heard so far was on local radio today discussing what the Steelers should do next.  Unfortunately I missed what he had to say about it.  I think at the moment the team needs to look at one of the many qualified backup QBs out there (not Michael Vick).  Or, and this one will sound pretty bad, but throw Ben’s name out there as a trade option.  Obviously most teams will stay way away from a guy like Ben right now, but who knows, maybe the Redskins will hear about it and decide to give up their first three rounds of draft picks this season and their next two years worth of first rounders…that would be awesome.

To Ben, I offer him my services.  For $45,000 a year, I will go out to clubs with him and his boys.  I will stay sober, and whenever he decides to try and hook up with some girl, I will then have her fill out some forms stating that she understands that they will be having sexual intercourse.  I may even test her BAC and have her do a voice recording so folks can see that she is of sound mind and body.

I have a few beefs with facebook.  Do not get me wrong, I enjoy using it, in fact it is up right now.  However that does not mean I care about your farm or fish.  I am not going to join your mob, or battle you in fight club.  I am not going to help you kill vampires or werewolves.  I could care less about your farkle or bejeweled scores.  I hide every single one of them.  And it feels good to do it.  And everyone should feel privileged to receive updates about this very blog you enjoying at the moment.

So what the hell does that leave me?  Well not a whole lot actually.  A few random quotes from people about their day.  Sometimes I like to put up song quotes or maybe I get super silly and write ridiculous things.  For example, let me share you some of these funny posts.

-how many girls do you know that can play a harmonica with their pussies? Very true Bloodhound Gang, very true indeed.

it is time for me to leave you now. i know you will miss me, and my heart breaks to have to say this, but goodbye…wait, sorry,what am i talking about? heart??? hahahaha

That last one was a two-part post that I threw up right before I left for Pittsburgh.  While I was down there I received multiple text messages from Kacie asking if everything was okay.  I called her and asked what she meant.  She said that people read my facebook and thought I was depressed.

I do not see it.  Maybe I am crazy.

Also, recently I saw on my news feed that one of my friends (who I have no clue who they are) father had just died.  What the hell kind of society do we now live in where you find out that a parent just died and you feel the need to share that on facebook.

Text Messages

I love receiving funny text messages, especially when I wake up at 4:00 a.m. and have to figure out what the hell could have been going through the drunk person’s head. Here are some of the examples:
-Hey who played Sean Connery on snl when we were talking about it the other night at work. (this came from Brent, apparently we were discussing this at work the other day and it came up at a bar.)
-Port matilda?? U know where that is?? (this one came from Steve at 2:45 a.m. and I have yet to learn why he sent it.)
-you dont love me anymore 🙁 (the sad face makes it so much better. makes me realize how serious the sender was. Also, I have no clue why she sent this.)
-I forgot to tell you, friday is dress down day you can wear jeans and tennis shoes and a nice shirt, have a nice night! (This was actually a wrong number, but it got me pretty excited about not having to dress up, only to be let down immediately.)

Well I hope you enjoyed my stupidity for the day.

2 thoughts on “Odds and Ends

  1. Josh, Don’t forget you get to talk to long-lost aunts on facebook that otherwise barely gets to talk to you and loves you very much! Aw…I know, your choking up right now.

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