Why I Hate People

Sometimes people really piss me off.  They just annoy me with their stupidity.  People always think that I will be interested in their idiotic stories.  Or that I care about their lives.  Ugh.

The other day at work, one of my employees told me that he could not work Sunday because he had to take his mom to Pittsburgh for a MRI.  It sounded a little weird to me, but whatever.  He was upset that his mom might need surgery or she could end up paralyzed.  So, we asked the one lady who is always off Sundays if she could work for him.  She felt bad for him and agreed to come in.

On Sunday, the kid’s friends were saying that he did not go to Pittsburgh, which obviously pissed the lady off.  The next day he heard about it and came to me and wanted to let me know that he really did go to Pittsburgh and he would bring paperwork from the doctor’s office to prove it.

This is what I said to him, basically verbatim:  “I honestly do not care.  We covered your shift with someone who is better than you, it was not a big deal to me.  If you lied about your mom, that is messed up, but it does not concern me.  You may want to apologize to _________(lady who took his shift) or explain it to her.”

Also, I hate small talk.  Especially if I am some where by myself.  Look, just because I am eating alone, does not mean I want company.  I am alone because I choose to be alone at that specific moment.  I like being alone at times.  So, if you are a waiter or waitress, and you see me reading a book while I eat, stop trying to strike up a conversation about what I am reading.  If you are yapping to me, then I am obviously not reading anymore.

This also goes for those times when I stop at a bar after work for a beer.  Just because I am sitting by myself does not mean I want some dickbag to start discussing the weather with me.  There is never a time in my life when I am interested in discussing the weather.  However, if you do start discussing the weather then do not be surprised if I take it to a deeper level.  I might ask how you feel about weather affecting the world’s economy.  Or something like that.

And then we get to the questions people love to ask me.  Ugh.
-Why are you an atheist?  Because I am a rational/sane individual who does not need to believe in imaginary beings to get through my day.  I am sorry that your limited intellect forces you to look to sky-beings in order to feel satisfied with life.

-Why don’t you want to get married?  Marriage is basically just a religious construct, so I feel no need to succumb to such idiocy.  Although, if I ever did get married, it would be the weirdest wedding ever.  And the marriage would probably only be for tax breaks and insurance purposes.

People love to ask me why I lie so much.  The answer is that it is just fun.  People are gullible, it provides me with entertainment to see how much they will believe.  Here are some good examples:

-New girl at work is from Texas, she asks me if I have ever been out of Pennsylvania.  I tell her that I was born in Yemen and lived there until I was two years old.  She says that I do not look like I am from the Middle East.  I explain that my father was a diplomat over there and he then got transferred to another country.  She asks where, and I tell her that we lived in Norway for awhile, then in Japan.  Then my parents got divorced and we moved to Pennsylvania.  I told her that my dad started a family in Germany and then left them there and is now married to a woman in Australia.  She bought the whole thing.  Wow.

-Once when I was a server, a table was arguing about regional terms for food (soda vs. pop), and they were really getting into it over sub/hoagie.  They asked me where I was from and what we called them.  I said I was from Alaska and we just call them salmon.  They were confused, so I explained that in Alaska we have no bread and tons of salmon, so that is all we eat.  One of the reasons I moved to Pennsylvania.  As I walked away they were talking about it with such amazement.

I think if you read this blog long enough, you can go back and find hundreds of examples of me lying to people…I do enjoy it.

Wow, this is one, long rambling mess.  Whatever, enjoy it.

4 thoughts on “Why I Hate People

  1. I love that you wrote “If you lied about your mom, that is messed up” and then followed that up by sharing lots of lies you shared over the years!

    Just giving you a hard time. 🙂 The Alaska story is great.

  2. Gideon…i was going to use some of the lies you and i used together, but i would seriously have to devote a whole new blog to that subject. “why yes, we are airline pilots.”

    sean…haha, i know. this post really was a rambling mess. after coming home from work and reading it again, i realize how silly it is…

Comments are closed.