Star Wars Stupidity

I am sitting here right now watching Star Wars Episode I:  The Phantom Menace on SpikeTV (I watched the last half of Episode III) and it occurred to me there are plenty of idiotic things about these films when compared to the originals.  I am sure people have pointed these things out before or found explanations, but it is still fun to make fun.

-If you are trying to hide Anakin Skywalker’s children, why would you take one of them to Tattooine:  the place where Anakin was born?

-Also, why the hell would you keep his last name as Skywalker?  Did Luke ever have to register his T-16?  I am sure the Imperial DMV would have Skywalker on file.  Darth Vader and the Emperor did not keep a search program running to alert them if that name ever came up?

-Why does the Emperor refer to Luke as the son of Skywalker when talking to Vader?  Why not just say “your son cannot become a Jedi.”  I guess that would have killed the big shock ending.

-Allow me to get this straight, Yoda and Obi-Wan escape from the Emperor and Vader and go into hiding.  What was their master plan?  Never train either child and just hope that the two bad guys die of old age?  Why not move to the farthest corner of the galaxy (I am guessing Tattoine) and train both of them both to be Jedi Knights.  Also, why wouldn’t they both be out searching for other surviving Jedi?  Instead they just wait for them all to be killed or later hunted down by Vader.  Great plan.

One of my favorite posters from the prequels

-How does Princess Leia tell Luke that she remembers her mother as being very sad.  Padme dies when they are born.  Sorry, she loses the will to live.  Apparently that is a diagnosis in that universe.  I wonder what House would say?  He would definitely want an autopsy.

-Yoda and Chewbacca were good friends.  I somehow find it hard to believe that Luke and Chewie never have that discussion.  I am sure that Han would ask Luke where he learned how to be so badass and Luke would be like “oh, this old Jedi Master, Yoda trained me.”  Or could Han have mentioned the weird ramblings from Luke to Chewie after Hoth?  I am almost certain one of these conversations had to happen.  Maybe Luke and Chewie once drank some beers and lamented over their dead friend.

-I always forget that Anakin is like Jesus.  He has no human father.  Quite creepy.  I wonder what Jesus’ midichlorian count would have been?