New Year Resolutions

It is that time of year when everyone decides to make some kind of resolution.  Not me, I think they are stupid.  I joked with a lot of people this year that I was going to make a resolution not to kill anyone, since that had been my resolution for the past 29 years and I had a pretty good streak going.  People think I am a dick for mocking their method of changing their lives.  I also said that I was going to be less of a dick, but that lasted until about 12:06 a.m.  Oops.

This got me thinking about resolutions and the whole point of them.  The majority of you will make one to lose weight this year.  I remember when I was at PSU, this time of the year people would flock to the White Building to lose those extra pounds.  The first week of school there would be a line out the door at almost all times during the day.  Then, two weeks later, they would all be gone.

If you decide that losing weight is your resolution, do not be stupid.  Set an achievable goal.  Saying you want to lose thirty pounds sounds like a good idea, but can you actually do it?  If you want to lose the weight, start with something like “I want to lose two pounds a month.”  Keep track of it…sorry, I am going off on a tangent here.

People should not need to make a resolution to be a better person.  If you think making a promise to yourself after a few shots and some champagne, then maybe you should wish to be less of a retard while you are at it.  Damn, I guess that not being a dick resolution is officially over.