After the Moon Tower…

This is something new I plan on doing every so often.  I will take a movie and write about where they are nowadays.  No, not the actual actors, but the characters.  My blog, my idiotic ideas.

Dazed and Confused
As many of you know, this is one of my favorite movies.  I can probably quote the entire movie.  I always loved how the movie’s high point is the party at the moon tower and the different things that happen to the characters.  It was one of those things where the movie leads us to believe that this is the kind of night that will change their lives.  Do parties out in a field usually have a major impact on our lives?  I bet not and let us take a look and see what those crazy kids got into after the party.

Randall “Pink” Floyd
Everyone kept trying to get Pink to sign the pledge sheet so he could play football next year.  He tells his coach that he may play football, but he will never sign that sheet of paper.  Well believe it or not, he did play football his senior year.  Lee High School had a very good returning team and they finished the season 10-1.  They lost in the semifinals of the state playoffs.  Just one game away from playing for the state title.  It was a heart-breaking loss.  This winning caused Pink to fall back in love with football.  He went to a small, D-II school in Texas where he played for four years, started his junior and senior years.  He received his degree and later returned to Lee High School to teach.  He became the football coach once his former assistant coach (who became the head coach when Coach Conrad retired) was fired for having an affair with Ms. Stroud.  Randy has led his team to three state titles and has been recruited to coach for a few colleges.  He turns them down because he truly loves the thrill of coaching kids who still have a passion for football.  He does not make kids sign any kind of pledge.

Mitch Kramer
Mitch was quickly accepted by the seniors and became the cool guy for the freshmen.  It also did not hurt that he had a wicked fastball.  He started for Lee High School as a freshman and won a couple games.  He pitched all four years and ended up accumulating some impressive stats.  He was drafted by the Kansas City Royals in the 8th round of the 1980 draft.  He made it up to the AA level before panning out.  He decided to stay in Arkansas, where he still lives with his wife and two kids.  He works as a plant manager at a chicken factory.  He cut his hair after his sophomore year because it got in his way as a pitcher.  I guess he never watched Tim Lincecum…

Ron Slater
The hippy of the group.  He spent the majority of the party doing drugs or talking about George Washington being in a cult and how he grew weed because it was a good cash crop.  Slater’s story is not all that good, nor is it all that bad.  He pretty much quit doing drugs after his freshman year of college.  Apparently he did so many drugs that they started to have no effect on him after awhile.  He did not want to graduate into the really hard drugs, so he just gave it all up.  Fortunately, he saved enough money from selling drugs to pay for college.  He decided to apply himself and ended up getting his masters degree in harmonics.  He works for some company designing speakers.  His biggest regret in life was not getting his PhD.  Also, he never did bang a lot of chicks, but the one he did nab in college was considered one of the hottest girls on campus.  You may have seen her as the Playmate of the Year (1978)…

Benny O’Donnell
Believe it or not, but Benny was actually a very smart kid.  He may have seemed like all he cared about was football and getting Pink to play, but in truth he was quite more than just an all-state linebacker.  He was probably one of the best linebackers in all of Texas and he was offered a full ride to the University of Texas, Texas Tech, and even Alabama, but he turned them all down.  He decided to join a much bigger team, with a much grander tradition.  He joined the Army, well actually he went to West Point.  After graduating, he moved up the ranks quickly and joined a new covert ops unit called Delta Force.  He went on to becoming one of the trainers for future agents.  He retired from the military in 2001 (after a disagreement with Rumsfeld) as a Lieutenant General.  One of his prized recruits into the Delta Force program was a young soldier who would later go on to fight terrorists for CTU in Los Angeles.  Benny now resides in Texas on his cattle ranch, there has been speculation about him running for the state Senate.

David Wooderson
Wooderson never did go to junior college.  He kept working for the state and partying with high school kids.  Unfortunately, like most old guys who forget to grow up, he went from being cool to creepy in just four years.  By Mitch’s senior year, Wooderson was now the weird old guy at a party.  I mean, 16 year old girls do not think a 30 year old stoner is all that sexy.  After Mitch graduated, he no longer had an in with the high school crowd.  He started leaving work and just heading to the local bar and drinking until about 10:00, then he would go home and get some sleep and do it all over again.  We have seen those guys at the bar, they look like they have been there all day, still dressed in their dirty work clothes, and then when it starts getting crowded, they bolt.  He quickly put on weight and lost his hair.  He died of a heart attack in 2004.  I guess he was no longer L-I-V-I-N.

Darla Marks
What a freakin’ bitch!  She always thought she was the queen of her high school.  She became a stewardess for United Airlines after high school.  She married a business man and together they had three kids.  She is one of those mothers who pushed her daughters into becoming cheerleaders.  Always pushing them, harder and harder.  Telling them they need to diet.  They grew up hating her and have not spoken to her in thirty years.  She has never met her grandchildren.  It is actually kind of sad.  She is miserable and wonders if she should have been a better person when she was younger.

Jodi Kramer
Mitch’s older sister did not have the cool story as her brother (I guess that depends on your POV).  She continued to try and get Pink to dump Simone, but to no avail.  She ended up sleeping with lots of guys and by the time she reached college, she was banging multiple partners a night.  She dropped out of college and started doing porn to pay the bills.  She is best known for her role in Gangbang Nurses VII (which was not nearly as good as Gangbang Nurses VI, but that is another debate for another time).   She had to retire from porn after her second prolapse.  So disgusting.

Don Dawson
Premature ejaculator my ass!  Guess who became a daddy???  That’s right, Don impregnated Shavonne (luckily she had the kid during the summer after graduation).  They got married and then divorced three years later when he got another girl pregnant.  Apparently he has super sperm.  He has at least six other children.  I am pretty sure that child support laws were created because of him.  A few more kids and he could have fielded his own football team (at least an offense).

Fred O’Bannion
The dumbshit failed his senior year.  Unfortunately he did not have much of a chance to attend classes in 1977.  During the summer he stewed over how angry he was about that skinny little shit Carl.  He ended up basically stalking him all summer and then one drunken night, he finally caught him and beat him.  He broke Carl’s legs and his jaw.  Needless to say, the police did not think it was all that funny.  He was arrested and ended up doing seven years in prison, where he most certainly became someone’s bitch.  Because of the beating on Carl, Lee High School made a huge push to stop hazing.  Carl became the poster boy for what happens when hazing goes too far.  Mitch and his friends did not haze the incoming freshmen…

These last two individuals actually had their lives changed from that party…

Clint Bruno and Mike Newhouse
He only came to the Moon Tower for two things:  to kick some ass and drink some beers.  And did he ever kick poor, nerdy Mike’s ass.   That was probably the biggest mistake of Clint’s life.  Mike decided to go to college and study his butt off.  He went on to law school and soon after got a job as an assistant district attorney.

Clint stayed in town and got a job as a mechanic.  He would occasionally get into bar fights and get into trouble.  Mike made it his life mission to destroy Clint.  He moved back to that area and after one of those fights, Mike pushed to have Clint given the maximum jail time.  He then paid a guy to shank Clint in prison.  Not a lethal shank, just one that left Clint paralyzed.  Mike later visited Clint in the hospital and asked him once again if he remembered him.  To this day, he sends Clint a card on the day of the shanking and signs it “Isaac Fuckin’ Newton.”

Mike now serves on the Texas Supreme Court.  And he might be a serial killer, not really all that sure.

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