Tonight was the premiere of True Blood, but before I get into that, I want to point out how I am an idiot. Last week I wrote about the season finale of Treme. Well it was not really the finale…I am shocked that no one pointed that out to me (probably because only two people I know watch it). Anyways…
The new season of True Blood started out with Sookie in the land of fairy. Turns out her grandfather was there for the last twenty years. Also, the fairies are not good guys. They are harvesting humans and all that pretty stuff was just an illusion. Everyone should know that if they ever read Sandman. Yeah, the story was pretty lame, as were the special effects.
Sookie then comes back to our world, her grandpa dies and she heads home only to find workers there remodeling. Turns out she has been gone for more than a year and everyone thought she was dead. Jason sold her home. Oops. Here are the things that have happened:
-Jason is a cop now and he seems to be good at it. Andy is a V addict. Jason ends up being locked in a deep freezer by someone in that meth town. Turns out Crystal left.
-Sam has anger problems. His brother is a Jesus freak and lives with Hoyt’s mom. Sam gets drunk with some shape-shifters now and probably has orgies. Weird.
-Bill is now the King of Louisianna. Are they ever going to explain how that shit works? If he is the king, why doesn’t Eric just kill him and take over? Does being the king give you super powers?
-Eric is the one who bought Sookie’s house and he gives it back to her and then says he owns her. It was pretty obvious that he was the one who bought it, but I have no clue where this thing is going.
-The fight between Jessica and Hoyt was so lame. Probably the worst acting I have seen on this show and that is saying something. At least Pam was funny when they were at Fangtasia.
-So, Tara is a lesbian named Toni now? She and her girlfriend are cage-fighters? This was probably the first time there was a girl-on-girl scene on TV that I had absolutely no interest in.
-Lafayette and Jesus…um whatever, this storyline already sucks a major cock.
-Am I forgetting anything? Probably not, the show was pretty dumb. I will keep watching though. At least there will be plenty of boobs.