Sexy Movie

If you told me that Thor, Raylan Givens, Nikki from Lost, and Leeloo Multipass were all in one movie, I would probably respond:  “wow, that must be the sexiest movie ever.”  I would most likely rush out and buy the movie and watch it over and over.

I think you can see where I am going with this, right?  The other night I watched A Perfect Getaway.  Ugh, what a shitty movie.  It actually started alright, Steve Zahn and Leeloo are on their honeymoon in Hawaii.  They run into Thor and his girl, who want a ride, but they pass because they seem a little crazy.

Later, they run into Raylan and Nikki.  They seem like a good couple, and it allows them to get away from Thor and his girl since they now seem to be following them.  As the two couple hikes together, they hear about some murders on the islands and the police believe the killer may be on this island!  Again, not too bad, typical slasher film right?

Steve uses his phone to read about the murders and sees a blurry picture of the killer.  He believes it to be Raylan, that coupled with the fact that Raylan tells plenty of crazy stories about how he was an army super-soldier, almost died in a plane crash, and basically keeps saying that he is tough to kill.  He also goes hunting with a bow and kills a goat, which Nikki is able to professionally gut.  Needless to say, Steve and Leeloo are frightened.

The police come and arrest Thor and his girlfriend as the murderers because they found some teeth in their backpack.  Also, someone tipped them off.  Later Nikki is going through Leeloo’s camera and she realizes the horrible truth!  UH OH!  Raylan and Steve are taking a trip to the sea caves!  AHHHHH!

Yes, it turns out that Steve and Leeloo are the killers.  Soooooo, all the scenes where Steve is freaking out reading about the murders, it turns out HE WAS THE KILLER!  Why would he and Leeloo have a conversation about Raylan and Nikki possibly being the killers, if they were in fact the killers?  This was just so stupid.

Although, it did fulfill that great idea of what would happen if some serial killer attacked some actual bad-ass.  Turns out, Raylan was not kidding.  After getting shot in the back of the head (which the bullet bounced off because of his metal plate), he chases Steve down and beats the crap out of him.

Also, it turns out that Steve and Leeloo are drug-addicted murderers.  I have no clue what drugs though, I think Steve tries to say that Nikki is on crystal meth, but it is he is on drugs as some EMT realizes by his enlarged pupils.  If these two are so addicted to drugs, would they really be able to hide it for so long?  Obviously none of the writers ever watch Breaking Bad.

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