Ancient Aliens Ridiculousness

The last two episodes of Ancient Aliens have been even more idiotic than usual.  I love that they use the same six locations/incidents as proof and they just try to reanalyze it each episode.  One of these episodes focused on Pumapunku, which is a pre-Incan site in Bolivia.  You may recognize it as the place with these giant H-blocks.

Needless to say, Ancient Alien Theorists believe this place was built by aliens.  The place was built with immense precision and David Chidress shows us this precision by taking a square and showing how the cuts are exactly 90 degrees.  Except, if you watch him, he puts the square against the block and you can see that the square is not even close to being exact.  I am not taking anything away from the ancient engineers, but if you are claiming an advanced race made these blocks and they are not 100% exact, I am not buying it.

Speaking of David Childress…who is this guy?  He comes off as some expert in archaeology, but unfortunately, he actually has no real credentials.  He spent one year at a university.  He writes books about this crap and people consider him an expert.  Makes me laugh.

Another thing the AAT kept pointing to was the fact that inside these granite blocks, there are holes drilled into them.  They claim that these holes must have been cut with some kind of drill from the future.  Maybe a hypersonic drill.  Do you know why they claim this?  When they had an expert look at the cuts, he said there was no evidence of any kind of mechanical tool used, that the markings were typical of some kind of hand tool.  Granted, the guy said that he did not think they were made with the known tools of that society at that time.

Naturally, the AAT people came to the conclusion that they must have used something that we do not have yet.  Instead of trying to find a reasonable explanation, they went out and said “oh, it must be a hypersonic laser drill from Space Home Depot.”

One of the theories regarding how the ancient folks moved these blocks the 10 KM up into the mountains says that the people used trees as rollers.  The AAT people say that this is impossible because there are no trees up that high.  Umm, this is true, but there are trees near the actual quarry site.  It would seem to make more sense to lay the rollers as you go, not backwards.  Or you can claim that they were levitated there by aliens.  Yep, that makes more sense.

The AAT also claim that the granite is flat, which is proof that it was worked by aliens.  I am not a geologist, but I could have sworn that I heard in some science class once that granite can be naturally flat.  I have no clue whether or not the quarry where the large stones came from actually is one of those sites that produces relatively flat blocks.  However, that would probably be what I would look into.

My favorite part of the episode involved a reconstruction of what the site must have looked like.  They theorize that these blocks must have interconnected to either become a landing pad or a launch ramp.  Allow me to explain this for a second.

These aliens travel millions of light-years, they have a technology that allows them to basically bend the laws of physics.  They either have to create wormholes, which would take an enormous amount of energy, or maybe the discovered something that travels faster than light.  Even though these things sound super improbable, stay with me.

They get to Earth and the first thing they do is build a landing port made out of granite.  They do not have some kind of material or portable landing pad?  Why would they need a launch ramp?  If they made it here, would they really need to build a granite launch pad?  They would not come prepared?

Another idea is that they used Pumapunku as a base camp.  Again, I ask why build such a massive structure?  When our military went to Iraq, they did not start building a ziggurat to house the troops.  Nor did they start making tents out of animal hides like the Bedouin use.  No, they brought their own portable camps with them.  You mean to tell me that aliens would not have tents?  Or some awesome pop up building?

The reason the H-blocks are no longer in place is because it appears that an earthquake may have hit the area at some point.  Or, if you are an AAT:  aliens destroyed the site with lasers (or a meteor) before they left.  Yet, I would think if they fired some super energy weapon at their own base camp that we would see some evidence.  Right?  Heat marks on the blocks?  What if they used a meteor?  I would hope there would be some evidence.

Or maybe there was a cosmic battle and another alien group came and destroyed the base.  After they destroyed the base though, they flew back there and picked up all the dead aliens and dropped weapons.  The wreckage was cleaned up thoroughly and to this day there is no proof of this epic battle.

The last episode focused on Bigfoot.  Yep, Bigfoot.  The AAT claim that there is a connection between UFO sightings and Bigfoot.  There probably is a connection.  Crazy people who think they see Bigfoot, whenever they see a bear, probably identify a plane as an UFO as well.

I was actually somewhat excited about this episode since I actually like watching Bigfoot shows.  They are so ridiculous, but they try so hard to be scientific.  I will actually give them points for that one.  They at least try.  The AAT do not even try.  They just make shit up.

For example, they claim that Enkido from The Epic of Gilgamesh must have been a Bigfoot.  Because he was described as a hairy wild man.  Without getting into too much of an analysis of that story, let me just say that Enkido represents the uncivilized aspect of the world around Sumer during that time.  Gilgamesh has to go out and try to defeat the wild, yet cannot.  Instead he gives Enkido a girl and that tames the wild man.

I honestly did not find too much to really care about the episode.  They were grasping at straws.  The only really far out theory was that the aliens built the Oregon caves in order to hide Bigfoot.  Seems reasonable to me.

The other day when I was at Barnes and Noble I decided to pick up Philip Coppens book, The Ancient Alien Question.  I was intrigued as I read the first couple chapters.  He basically goes about disproving many of the theories.  Then I skipped ahead to his conclusion and he still believes in ancient aliens because of the proof in his book, which like the other “proof” is just misinterpretation.

One thought on “Ancient Aliens Ridiculousness

  1. david hatcher childress did not use to talk so douche. There’s film in his early years he did not drawl out his words.

    These people that are on this show have become ridiculous.

    Now on aliens Childress he does this fake valley girl voice. It’s now like a yuppie.

    The wired hair guy wasn’t so silly either. I find it hard to enjoy knowing the history channel has put such jokers on the show. Sorry but it ruins what could be a good show.

Comments are closed.