The End of the World

I have been a little confused about this end of the world business.  When does it happen exactly?  Will the world explode at midnight or will the Mayan gods come to destroy us at say 3:00 p.m.?  Maybe the aliens come down and enslave us at 4:32 a.m., how the hell would any of us know?

What will the ending be like?  If I am sleeping, will the universe just cease to be?  Or will it be like a giant earthquake that shakes my ass out of bed.  I better not hit my head off the nightstand, that would be shitty.

The Mayans never mentioned anything about Jesus and so I am confused how this fits in with him returning and saving everyone’s soul.  Does he fight the aliens in a grand battle?  Or does Satan rise out of the ground, call upon the aliens, who resurrect the Mayans, who then play soccer with all of our heads.  Jesus comes back and uses the laser beams from his eyes to kill all his enemies, he steals the aliens spaceship and takes all of the true believers to Heaven, which is located near Neptune.

To all my friends out there, it was great knowing you all, and I hope you make it through this impending doom unscathed.  Thank you for reading and goodnight!*

*Please note the sarcasm in this entire post.

2 thoughts on “The End of the World

    1. I figured I better note it somewhere or else some random person will find this post and make a comment like “OH MY GOD, THAtS NOT wHAT ThE BIBLE SAyS OR THEm deAd MeXICanS SAY! I IS OFFENDED BY yoUR lAK of NAHLWEDGE!!!!”

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