I recently took a class for work about drugs and how to spot drug use at work.  It was actually pretty interesting although some of the stuff was stuff I have heard or seen before.  The lady in charge of the class brought in some of the paraphernalia that people use to smuggle drugs and she explained how easy it is to find this stuff.

She had a root beer bottle that split apart and could hide stuff inside.  There was also a tootsie roll canister that could hide things.  The amazing thing about these items is they look identical to the ones they are supposed to mimic.  The soda bottle even had a liquid in the top that you could actually open and drink if you wanted to.  I suppose if you smuggled drugs you would probably make sure to replace that root beer every once in awhile.

I know what you are thinking “yeah, this stuff is available at head shops or novelty stores.  Places where druggies hang out.”  You can just go to Amazon and type in safes.  Under the office products they have these special diversion safes.  Because all important business men like to keep an important file hidden in a Barbasol can.

That is not all you can purchase on Amazon.  What if you need to take a drug test at work, but know that you might not pass?  Well they have all sorts of products to help you out.

They sell a bunch of “detoxification” products that are supposed to help flush drugs out of your system.  Granted, this is not what they say.  They can remove toxins from your body within five hours.  What kind of toxins would you need out your body in such a short amount of time?

What if you need to beat a drug test with some clean urine.  You have a clean sample from a friend, but your probation officer likes to watch you pee.  How can you beat that?  Well there is a way.  It is called the whizzinator.  You can watch the video below because I am not putting up a picture.

Basically, it looks like a strap-on dildo that is attached to a sack of urine, which has a heat pack behind it.  Obviously pee needs to be a certain temperature.  So, when your PO is standing there, you whip out your little prosthetic pecker and let out a nice steady stream of clean piss.  I love that they did not make the fake penis too big, you would not want to arouse (hehe) suspicions with a giant dong.  Also, the fake wiener comes in different colors (that would be embarrassing, whip it out and it be a very dark brown and you’re a very pale white).

One of these will cost you about $140, but you can get the cheaper kits on Amazon for much less.  I am guessing they do not have the heat sensors.  They claim to be for people with incontinence.  Something tells me that no one has ever bought one for their intended use.

You might think this is some fringe thing and no one buys this crap.  If that were the case, why is this a $500,000,000 per year industry.  I have no clue if that is the real amount, but that is what the teacher quoted (I should have asked for a citation, I apologize).

Another thing I learned was how gas stations sell crack pipes at the register.  If you see those little roses in a glass tube (or sometimes they are a horoscope), those are used for crack pipes.

Is there some kind of point to this post?  Probably not, I just found all of it quite interesting and figured I would share with everyone.  Also, if you are a parent and you see your kid bringing home a tootsie pop canister, you may want to search that thing.  Apparently drug dealers like to spike elementary kids waters with heroin to get them hooked early.  So maybe this post serves as a warning for parents. Yeah, that was my original goal.