I was driving home from work tonight and all of a sudden it hit me. It hit me hard. You know the feeling. All of a sudden your stomach is rumbling and you know you have to poop. This was not one of those slow brews, where you can tell that poop-time is imminent. This was the quick attack. Fine one second, then two seconds away from ruining a pair of pants.
I debated on holding it until I got home since I was just to Ebensburg and had about eight minutes until I could use the home-field toilet. Unfortunately, I was not sure if I could make it eight minutes. I ran into the Uni-Mart and almost sprinted to the men’s room.
The first thing I noticed was that there was no hook on the door. You know, to hang a coat. I wear a long overcoat, not something you can really wear and do number two. I had to go so bad that it was hard to get the coat off and the pants down. The floor was absolutely disgusting. It was very wet, which is understandable because of the weather, but that just means someone needs to be checking it more often.
Then I noticed the little things. I do not consider a public bathroom dirty if there are towels on the floor or little things like that. I look at the overall cleanliness of the walls, the floors, the sink, and the toilet. This place was nasty. Which is weird to me, since the rest of the Uni-Mart is very clean and nice. They did a remodel (I believe when they added a Dunkin Donuts), they should have updated the restrooms.
When I came out, I had to buy something because I hate being that guy who shits and runs. I hate when people come to where I work and go “where is your restroom?” Then after they are done, they just leave. That pisses me off. I refuse to be that guy. I also wanted to say something to the kid working, but I figured as soon as I left he would just mock me or something.
Okay, I am done. Hopefully the next post will be something non-bowel related.