Game of Thrones: Two Swords

I have been writing about how excited I have been about the premiere of Game of Thrones for about the last bajillion months.  The waiting has finally ended and the first episode of the new season came.  It was absolutely amazing!  So much awesomeness happened, I do not know where to even begin.  There will probably be some spoilers…

-The episode begins with Tywin taking Ice (Ned Stark’s Valyrian Steel sword) and having it melted down and two new swords forged.  He then takes the pelt of Robb’s wolf and throws it into a fire.  Tywin is such a badass.  He has such a fantastic smirk on his face while doing it.  Pure satisfaction at absolutely destroying your enemy.

-We meet Oberyn Martell, or the Red Viper as he was called in the book.  He is every bit as cool as he was in the book.  He reminds Tyrion about how his sister was raped and murdered by the Mountain, after her children were slaughtered (she was married to Rhaegar).  Oberyn knows that Tywin ordered the Mountain.  He is not in King’s Landing for a silly wedding, he is here for vengeance. 

-Speaking of Tyrion.  He and Bronn are still the best.  I loved the beginning where Tyrion asks something like “if you were a prince of Dorne, who has slept with half the women of Westeros and just rode all the way to King’s Landing, what would you do?”  Bronn’s response?  “I’d probably go to sleep, I’m getting old.”  Those two crack me up.  Or when the Red Viper asks Bronn if he is Tyrion’s hired killer, he says “yeah, I was.  Then they made me a knight.”  And when Obie (my new name for Oberyn) asks how he got that title, Bronn responds “I killed a bunch of people.”  Classic Bronn.

-Jaime is not enjoying his homecoming as much as we all thought he would.  I imagine he figured it would be a great time of banging his sister all day.  Unfortunately, she is a raging drunk now, who wants nothing to do with him since he ran away and lost his hand.  Oh, and Tywin wants Jaime to quit the Kingsguard and go to Casterly Rock.  Jaime refuses and his father basically disowns him.  At least he got to keep the newly forged sword and his cool fake hand.

-Jaime is at weird point.  He wants to do the right thing.  He no longer wants to be the Kingslayer.  He is trying to fulfill his oaths, but his family makes it tough.  At least he has his new friend, Brienne, who will always tell him that he is shirking his duty.

-Daenerys is on the road to attack Mereen (spelling?).  We have a new actor playing Daario.  That other guy was a bit weird looking for me, although they ended up casting Sonny from Treme, who I hated on the show for the first season, but I ended up liking as he got clean and fell in love with a Vietnamese girl (was that where she was from?).  Daario is trying to woo Dany, but failing at first.  Anyways, it looks lilke Daenerys will be destroying another city built by slaves.  She is not a fan of the crucified slaves lining the road.  I almost feel bad for Mereen…

-Jon Snow is safe from being hanged.  Maester Aemon believes his tale and does not see it wise to start beheading men who sleep with a girl.  If they do that, the wall will be manned by headless men.  They all sneak off to bang a girl at Moletown, why should Jon Snow be any different?

-The best part of the show was the Hound and Arya.  They arrive at an inn and the Hound sees five horses, which means five men.  Two of the guys come out and Arya recognizes the one as Polliver, the man who killed Lommy and stole Needle.  She is going inside.

The Hound catches her before she can go in, but the doors open and everyone knows they are there.  They go inside and Polliver recognizes him.  The Hound goads the men into a fight and he is doing well, but after awhile they start beating him.  One of the men is about to sneak up behind him, but Arya steps in and kills the man.  She then slashes Polliver’s leg and takes Needle back.  She repeats the things that he said to Lommy and then says what he told her when he stole her sword.  She stabs him in the throat, exactly like the way Polliver stabbed Lommy.  It was so awesome…