Mars vs. South Dakota

I saw this video today and it reminded me of something Robert Wuhl said in Assume the Position:

Which brings me to Calvin Coolidge, who, on a summer vacation in 1927, goes fishing in South Dakota and catches so many fish in South Dakota that he decides to stay for three months! Three months the president stays away. Washington’s at a standstill; Cal’s catchin’ fish. Now, just prior to this, America has suffered its greatest natural disaster. The Mississippi River overflows, flooding six states. Cal’s catchin’ fish. But the real story isn’t just that Cal’s catchin’ fish, it’s why he’s catching so many fish. Because unbeknownst to Cal, South Dakota state officials have chicken-wired the lake and every night are restocking it with thousands of fish. Why? Because they need Cal to fall in love with South Dakota. Why? Because the need to generate income in South Dakota. Why? Because South Dakota is in the middle of East Bumfuck, America. There’s only eight people living there per square mile! That’s only eight more people living there than there are on Mars! They need tourism dollars and they need Cal’s help to finance their new tourist attraction. And what is their new tourist attraction.

The tourist attraction in question is Mount Rushmore, which my little cousin was not impressed with when she went to visit as a wee child.

At least South Dakota has a sense of humor about their state. Makes me want to visit.

Author: Ngewo