Angry Albanians

imagesI think I may have pissed off some people with my Albania post from back in 2010. As I said in the post (albeit at the bottom and in smaller print) all of the stuff written was a joke and was not meant to be taken serious. Clearly some people missed that part and have decided from time to time to comment on the post about how I know nothing of Albania.

They are right, I honestly know very little of the country. I am sure that it is a wonderful country with many fantastic people. I could have used any country and made up a fake history for them. I chose Albania because they have the coolest flag ever.

I received a comment today from Ar Jane. It pretty much blew my mind. Without looking into it, I can promise you this is the longest comment ever on this blog:

What is this bullshit dude? What the hell are these names and ” Albanian Heroes” such as Sergio Madras Flokktitty or what the hell???

Some other bullshits about Albanians attacking Greece and thinking it was Italy or some other idiotic stuff about WW1 and Ottoman Empire??

Even if you wanted to write so much bullshits and inaccuracy , it would have been impossible to write so many wrong stuff.

You might think this is a blog that 11 people visit and you want to make jokes in the behalf of our history, but why?

What are those idiocies that this country produces only women and ”filth” because this is your romantic view of it, when you have not the slightest idea of how the country is???

And about the ”sex slave” thing and the ” Taken” movie, maybe you have not realized it yet, but Albanians gangsters in the movie and in the reality, the northeners at least, traffic only foreign non-albanian girls, generally serbian, ukranian, russian, romanian, slovakian etc, because doing what you said is against their Code of Honor.

Those Albanians gangsters represent only 0.1% of the population and you better be careful when you speak about Albanian girls and sex, since Albanians are the most conservative nation in Europe, and you trying to snitch to an Albanian girls might cost you some bones broken, even your life maybe. So take a deep breath ans stop speaking about sex and stuff, you can not do that with Albanians, go and do those stuff with American, Canadian, Australian, Japanese, Korean, British, French, German and Slavic hoes and women.

As for the Albanian history, obviously us being a very small nation, only less than 9 million Albanians all over the world, divided in 5 states in Balkans and in 3 continents, the history is not going to be promoted a lot and the Albanian state has done literally nothing about it.

Even though Albanian history is not very famous in the pop-up media and culture, such as Hollywood and making moves or documentaries, academies around the world know very well who the Albanians are and their ancient heritage, unique language and culture and the great contribution in history. Some facts:

1) Maintainance of the Roman and Byzantine Empire , such as Illyrians ruling the Roman Empire for 220 years from 180 – 395 AD, by producing more than 22 Illyrian Emperors. Illyrians also composed the most brutal and professional legions for centuries such as ” The Frontier Legions” and the Imperial Guard called Pretorians.

2) Illyrians were also a very important part of the Alexander’s Army and in fact the people of Shkodra in the 13th century said that we as Albanians are the only descendants of him. Pyrros of Epirus was another ancient Albanian hero who almost defeated Rome. His only pure descendants today are the Labs in Southern Albania, who even today have the Code of Honor and Laws called ” Kanuni Pirrit” meaning ” Constitution of Pyrros” and the Dance of Pyrros, evidences together with their costumes, of the Albanian antiquity.

3) As I already said Albanians gave a lot of contribution in the Byzantine Empire, as Albanians were Byzantines and had an simbiotic relationship and alliance with each other. There are thousands of generals, governors and Emperors of Albanian heritage which are not acknowledged today. Soon a very detailed study will be conducted. Till 900 AD, the Byzantine Dynasties were Illyrian.

4)After the weakening of the Byzantine Empire in 1280s, Albanian Princes start independetly to take military actions to strech politically their domains. By 1380 AD, Albanian domains lined from Budva till the Channel of Corinth and from Durres to Skopje. Albanians conquered and colonized by 3 waves , all what is now southern Greece, regions such as Thessaly, Peloponnese, Athens, by starting in 1280 and ending in 1340 AD, and defeating all the Latins there and giving breath and life to the Byzantine Empire for more than 120 years ( this is not aknowledged at all in history unfortunately) They did this in accordance with the Byzantines.

From 1330 till 1430, Albanian Princes such as Gjin Bue Shpata, Prel Lusha, Gjin Zenebishti and Gjergj Arianiti, become absolute rulers of Epirus, Thessaly and Aetolia till the Channel of Corinth, until the Ottomans took over some of the land.

5) With the protection Albanians did to Europe and Italy, by fighting for 150 years against the Ottomans ( 1360-1506) and winning 75 out of 85 battles, more than whole battles combined won by other balkans states since Ottomans stepped in Balkans for the first time in 1356, something very underrated in fact.

6)The Albanian National Hero called Gjergj Kastrioti Skanderbeg, defeated the Ottomans in 25 battles, in battles were Albanians were in average 3-4 times less in numbers and Ottoman armies numbered to 40,000 – 150,000 soldiers per battle. He was called the 2nd Alexander the Great, because of his military skills, but also because he was connected to him by blood. His name given by Ottomans ” Skender” comes from Persian ” Iskander” which means Alexander. He established in 1443 the ” League of Lezh” ( existing 1443-1481), which united for the first time all Albanian Princes in one common cause , which can also be considered the most successful defensive military league in the history of Europe by winning more than 40 battles against the Ottoman Empire by doing a 40 years front war and stopping Murad II and Mehmet II to conquer Rome, Italy and parts of Central Europe.

In the helmet of Skanderbeg is written: ” Jesus of Nazareth, blesses Gjergj Kastrioti Skanderbeg, Prince of Emathia ( Macedonia), Prince of Epirus. King of Albanians, Athlete of Christ, Terror of the Ottomans”, an helmet given by the blessing of Pope Pius II. He is the only Balkan leader to get such honor.

However, other Albanian Princes such as Gjergj Arianiti and Karl Topia defeated Ottomans in 13 battles in between 1425- 1435.

Lot’s and lot’s of parts of Albanian history are not known and underrated, but we will make sure for the world to know it.

7 )Albanians also de facto ruled the Ottoman Empire by producing more than 40 prime ministers , thousands of governors and generals, who in fact did nothing for Albanians but just advanced in their careers.

8) Albanians Pashas ( muslim princes ) ruled western Balkans for more than 200 years from 1650- 1860 , by being mostly independent people and not paying taxes to the empire, causing so a vacuum of power in Balkans which lead to Orthodox revolutions after and before, something not acknowledged at all. All these underrated part of history we will make them famous as it is our duty to do so.Those Albanian Pashas were indeed muslim, but they were very powerful and they damaged the Empire more than whole Orthodox balkaners combined. History in the Balkans is very fucked up to be sincere.

9) Albanians as i previously said conquered and colonized a lot of Lands in southern Balkans in between 1280 -1370. The Albanians that colonized Peloponese, Thessaly, Beotia and Athens were later called Arvanites. Albanians had a crucial role in the formation of the nation of Modern Greece. The revolution of 1821 was not a ”greek ” revolution., but an orthodox one, where Orthodox Albanians were the main leaders and fighters, it is said that 90% of the heroes are Albanians and we do have their names and heritage. The Albanian role was so crucial that only for 2 votes, Albanian language did not became the official language of the nation and the Albanian national dress, ” the Fustanella with 20 plates” became the new symbol of the new greek nation, something which is not known today at all.

10) Albanian Mercenaries were crucial in the Ottoman – European Wars of 1550-1680, where Albanian offered service to both sides, with Albanians being for 4 centuries the best mercenaries in Europe, also known as Stratiotis, achieving their peak in the 16th and 17th centuries under the Albanian Leader called Merkur Bua who won countless battles and was called the New Skanderbeg.

11) Albanian Mercenaries were very famous in the Ottoman empire also. Albanians composed for 250 years the Imperial Guard and overthrew the Sultan twice from power, once in 1740 and the 2nd under the Albanian officer Halil Patrona in 1780, with Albanians taking over Istanbul and ruling the city for 12 years.

12) Albanian General Muhamad Ali Pasha conquered Egypt in 1804 with only 4,000 Albanian Mercenaries from the Ottomans by establishing a 150 years Albanian Dynasty. He killed all the Ottomans and Mamlukes and in the 1830 he made the Albanian Ruled Egypt a military superpower of the region by conquering Sudan, Palestine, Libya, Syria and Western Turkey by almost collapsing and destroying the whole Ottoman Empire. Western powers such as Jewish rule Britain and France intervened to stop the collapsing of the Ottoman Empire, because they feared the increase of the Albanian power. He also sent his army in Peloponese in 1824 to crush the Orthodox riots there and was very successful , but european power intervened to stop him. Some people call the revolution of 1821 as an Albanian Civil war between Arvanites and the Albanian rules of Egypt and in fact it was so.

13) By 1881, the Time of the Albanian warrior ended, as Albanians never got united, always were very divided people, but produced excellent military and political leaders. In the 20th century Albanians suffered and resisted the political mistakes they did for 350 years.

14) 2 of the best Architects of the Ottoman Empire were Albanians such as Sinan who built the ” Blue Mosque” and Some of the best scientists also were albanians, such as Hasan Tahsini who was the most remarkable scientist of the empire in the 19th century.

Mother Tereza and Pope Klement XI are Albanians also and the greatest construction engineer of the 19th century in Europe was Karl Rihter von Ghega, an Albanian. The teacher of Copernicus, was also the great Albanian humanist Gjon Gazulli, one of the greatest humanists of the 14-15th centuries, terribly underrated.

15) Albanian Language is a unique language if the indo-european branch and is considered very old, more than 5,000 years old. A huge part of the Albanian culture, such as costumes, dances, music, epic songs, legends, constructions are under UNESCO’s protection.

Some few quotes about Albanians:

Maurico Druon, secretary of the French Academy: “Albanians belonging to people older than history itself. Albanians and their grandparents participated in the Trojan war, led by Achilles (on one side) and Hector (the other side) “.

Nicolas Iorga: “The Albanian people along the Basques are the oldest ones in Europe.”

Maximilian Lambertz: “True History of humanity will be written only when it will be written with the participation of Albanians”.

Lamartine: “This nation ( Albanians) and this people is not taken crush … This is the land of heroes of all time … Homer found therein Achilles, Ancient Greeks found there Alexander , Ottomans found there Skanderbeg, these people of the same race, the same blood.”

M. Huacunthe Hecquard: “In no country of the world women are not respected and not exercise an activity more powerful than the Albanians and some Albanian mother drive her children from their home after they were removed from the war front. They had returned their children back to the battlefield “.

Lord Byron: “Albanians with their costumes make a wonderful landscape in the world … the human race Albanians are the most beautiful that exists, brave stronger than their castles.”
Henry Noel Brailsford: “… The ‘ primitive Albanian, in fact, is ‘superhuman’ to which Nietzsche dreamed”.

Gjusepe Katapangu: “Atllantida which disappeared 12,000 years ago, was the land of the Illyrians (Pelasgians), who survived the flood of Atlantis and began new civilizations in all continents, especially in Europe, Africa and Asia small”!

Agostino Ribeco: “millennium rights of Albanians, ethnographic and geographic range from old time in Illyria, Macedonia and Thessaly”.

Braisllav Nusic: “Albanians are indigenous, who during all invasions of peoples kept its type and character significantly. They braved attacks by Romans, Slavs dense offensive, which he occupied all, lowlands, and rivers “.

H. Dusko Konstantinov: “Albanians are the oldest inhabitants of the Balkan Peninsula and direct descendants of the old Illyrians , who had built the most powerful state in the Balkans.”

Edwin Jacques: “The Illyrians or Albanians, these undefeated people of Warrior bloodlines, Achilles worthy heirs, Philip, Alexander the Great and the Pyrros of Epirus were their heroes in antiquity …”.

Edwin Pears: “Albanians are descendants of the oldest race of the Balkan Peninsula, some of the Oldest Aryans, to draw this question from two roots Albanian words: Gold and side, ie. People pure gold. ”

Max MYLE: “The names of many famous people derive from old Albanian word ‘Gold’. This applies to very countries. ”

Fanulla Papazogllu: “Dardania is one of the ancient Balkan provinces where the indigenous population is the best preserved”.

Jenna Goss: “The origin of the Albanians up to the time of pre-helen Pelasgians and origin.”

Gustav Meier: “Albanians are the Young Illyrians.

George Hahn: “Albanians are descendants of the Illyrians, while the Illyrians are descendants of Pelasgian … Albanians are the Pelasgians grandchildren.”

Haki Pasha: “If the Albanians become aware of their ancient heritage and history, the Ottoman Empire is doomed”.

Harold Whitehal: “Egyptian hieroglyphics, created 4,000 years before, have Albanian meaning”.

Henry Braisford: “In Macedonia, only the Albanians are the indigenous people”

Johan von Han: “Albanian derives from Illyrian and Illyrian from pellasgian”.

Jovan Cvijiq “southern Slavs, after coming to the Balkans, Albanians found there, who pressured their (Slavs) retreated south and mountainous places, where we face today.”

Constantine Paparigopulos: “Only Albanians are considered descendants of the Illyrian race.”

You learnt so much of the Albanian history, didn’t you?

It is not your fault after all, it is ours.

Where do I even start on this 2200+ word masterpiece? Obviously I will not respond to each of Ar Jane’s comments, but I will go with a few of them.

So take a deep breath ans stop speaking about sex and stuff, you can not do that with Albanians, go and do those stuff with American, Canadian, Australian, Japanese, Korean, British, French, German and Slavic hoes and women.

Ar Jane is upset that I was implying that the number one export from Albania is sex slaves because of the movie Taken. First he defends the Albanian gangsters, saying that they never kidnap Albanian girls, just foreign girls because of their code of honor. Oh, my bad, they are basically saints then. Also, he gets angry that I am disrespecting Albanian girls by even talking about sex (since I said they have nice racks) and that it would be okay to say that about the above mentioned nationalities because they are hoes (and some of those hoes are women).

Some people call the revolution of 1821 as an Albanian Civil war between Arvanites and the Albanian rules of Egypt and in fact it was so.

Okay, yes, Arvanites came from Albania, yet they consider themselves Greek at this point. In fact, so many of Ar Jane’s points in history are that people in other countries did great things and these people had an Albanian heritage. That is great, I am sure many other countries can do the same thing. In the case of the Arvanites though, they came to Greece in the Middle Ages, then over time assimilated with the culture. By the time they were fighting against Albanian Ottoman’s, they were pretty far from Albanian.

Albanian Language is a unique language if the indo-european branch and is considered very old, more than 5,000 years old. A huge part of the Albanian culture, such as costumes, dances, music, epic songs, legends, constructions are under UNESCO’s protection.Albanian Language is a unique language if the indo-european branch and is considered very old, more than 5,000 years old. A huge part of the Albanian culture, such as costumes, dances, music, epic songs, legends, constructions are under UNESCO’s protection.

Where is Ar Jane coming up with this figure that the Albanian language is 5000 years old? Yes it is a unique language and there does seem to be some dispute about how it originated, but this does not make it that old. Unless he is claiming that the Ilyrian language was just Albanian, but that is not how language works. I cannot claim that English is 3200 years old because you can trace it back to Proto-Germanic languages.

You learnt so much of the Albanian history, didn’t you?

It is not your fault after all, it is ours.

Thank you so much Ar Jane for this enlightening history lesson!

I noticed you left a few things out…1525191_643828542329849_369805942_n

What about Communist leader Enver Hoxha? You could argue that he was probably one of the better ones in the region. I mean, he was no Stalin, Hoxha only executed between 5,000 to 25,000 who were against his regime. Also, he banned beards in the country. That is scary.

Or how about the Balli Kombëtar joining the Nazis to fight Communists, sorry, but anytime you join up with the Nazis, you lose points.

Blood feuds still exist in the country. I have read figures of around 10,000 people killed in these feuds since the fall of Communism. That does not sound like something a very modernized country would still be dealing with as an issue.

Also, the terrible government officials who swindled many of the people out of their money and homes through various Ponzi Pyramid schemes.

Come on though, there are some definite great things about Albania. Check out the Albanian Riviera…Albania_,_summerThe country eradicated malaria and they barely have any cases of AIDS.

And yes, throughout their rich history, Albanians fought to protect Europe from the spread of the Ottoman Empire. So thank you Albania!