Bats Are Creepy As Hell

Big-eared-townsend-fledermausLast night I am relaxing on the bed and I hear a blood curdling scream from the next room. I assumed Lindsey saw some kind of bug. She yelled again, so I decided to check it out.

As I opened the door, I saw a bat fly in front of me. I screamed like a girl and slammed the door. Lindsey locked herself in the closet. After a bit I was able to get it in the navy room, while I ran downstairs to get a weapon.

I grabbed a tennis racket and went back upstairs. I didn’t have enough room in the hallway to swing, so I knew I had to go inside. Also, Lindsey was still trapped in the closet. I opened rhe door a bit and watched it flying around a bit. Then it did something weird.

The stupid bat landed on the hanging light and started to work itself between the glass and the bulb. It was not moving, so I convinced Lindsey to come out and run downstairs. She escaped and the bat never moved.

Unfortunately she was not willing to help me do battle. I went up alone, opened the door and went inside. The bat was asleep. I was too creeped out to just grab it and toss it outside. I decided to barricade the door and go to bed.

The next morning I went in to check and the bat was gone. I looked around and could not see it anywhere. So Lindsey and I left for the day. We had to go to the winery in order to hear the band for our wedding.

When we came home, Lindsey wanted me to check the room again. I went in and after a quick search noticed something odd behind the curtain, like hanging from the rod.

I then had a plan: I would open the window, remove the fan and screen, and then toss something at the bat so it woke up and flew out the window. I had Lindsey stand outside and watch the window. I then grabbed a tennis ball. I tossed it at the bat and scored a direct shot. It did not move. I found my slippers and threw them as well. Hit the damn thing twice! It still never flew.

And again, I was still too much of a wuss to go check to see if it was dead. That is one of the things I did not inherit from my dad. He was never afraid of animals. Okay, he was afraid of a bear that tried to get in our camp, but that is it.

I remember once when there was a bat in our house, he killed it with a wiffle ball bat (haha). Another time, he found one sleeping near the house so he grabbed it and moved it further away. How crazy? The idea of touching a bat makes me almost pee myself.

Oh well. If it is still there tomorrow, I will assume it is dead and try to remove it. If it is gone, then I hope it flew outside since the window is still open.

6 thoughts on “Bats Are Creepy As Hell

  1. Bats are scary for one reason: rabies. Something like 10% are rabid, and they can bite you without you knowing, like mosquitos. Or if they get bay saliva on you, I think that can spread it. If you get rabies, there’s no sign for like a month, then you get flu like symptoms. At that point, there’s nothing they can do for you – It’s fatal. Yeah. Effing scary.

    Don’t take my word, look it up. A family in our neighborhood had a bat this summer, and that’s how we found out. They caught the bat and had it tested. It was rabid and the whole family had to get shots just in case.

      1. I just always think of the Bugs Bunny versus Dracula cartoon.
        Dracula: I can turn into a bat (turns into a bat, flies around)
        Bugs: Oh yeah? Well I can turn into a bat too (turns into a baseball bat, hits Dracula)

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