Today’s post comes from Valentine J. Brkich of SmallTownDad.com, and is part of a special day of shenanigans from other Pittsburgh Bloggers. You can see my post over on Geeky Sweetie, where I write about some comics I think would be great starting material.
Consider This My White Flag
So after a little over eight years in the trenches of parenthood, I can now say with confidence that I have discovered the secret of surviving life with kids: all out surrender.
I now realize that I’ll never regain control of my life, so what’s the use in trying? After all, trying takes energy. And the last time I had an ounce of energy, I also had zero dependents on my tax return.
Take my house, for example. It’ll never be clean again. Ever. So why worry about cleaning it? I’ll never get my kids to take their plates to the kitchen or to put their toys away. I’ll never get them to pick up their dirty socks or hang up that wet bath towel. And I’ll never get all those little LEGOs out of the carpet, either. You know, those really small transparent ones that disappear deep within the fibers of the carpet, only for you to discover late at night, when you get up for a drink of water and one of them digs into the soft, tender part of your foot, sending you collapsing to the floor in agony.
No, now I’ve just accepted that my house will forever be a minefield of Matchbox cars, random game pieces from Mouse Trap, and those stupid, cheap-plastic Happy Meal toys my kids bring home every time my in-laws have them for the day.
That’s just how it is.
I’ve given up on my precious alone time, too. I mean, I try to read. I wait until the kids are outside or playing in some far off corner of the house. Then I grab a book and try to escape reality for a little while.
But of course, as soon as I open the cover, magically one of my kids materializes out of thin air, usually in tears, to tattle on the other one for “being mean”. I try to ignore said tattler and tell them to go off and figure it out for themselves (we believe in hands-off parenting), but of course, before I can get through a single page, the other one appears to tearfully share their side of the story. On and on it goes until I finally put my book down and realize that reading will just have to wait until retirement.
This very moment as I sit here typing this, my 6-year-old, who for the last hour or so has been upstairs playing quietly by himself, has decided to set up camp right next to me at my desk, where he is currently staging a battle with his LEGO Star Wars figures, complete with mouthed laser and explosion sound effects, which, by the way, are really helpful when one is trying to concentrate.
That said, I’ve decided to give up on this post, too. I mean, it’s really not going anywhere. And let’s be honest, I never had a chance of finishing it anyway. ~
Valentine J. Brkich is a freelance writer and father of two young children. He and his wife live in Beaver, Pa. Visit him online at www.SmallTownDad.com .
Please check out the rest of the participants in this year’s Pittsburgh Guest Blogger Event!
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