A Crazy Weird Dream

Last night I had a dream. It was weird. vampire

Lindsey and I lived in the city (not sure what city, maybe Pittsburgh, possibly NYC, could have been Boise) with Samson. We lived on the 18th floor of a high-rise. One night, my Uncle Shawn shows up and it turns out that he is a vampire. Yeah, a vampire. I am pretty sure my Uncle Shawn is not a vampire in real life (if he is, I apologize for revealing his secret to Blade, who is an avid reader of this blog).

He gives me an ultimatum. Either I kill Samson or he kills Lindsey. I begged and pleaded, but there was no changing his mind (he really did not give a reason, just something like “this is what vampires do”; which I find kinda strange, since I would assume vampires just kill everyone and drink their blood, possibly even dogs).

I reached down and grabbed Samson by the neck and squeezed until he stopped moving. Uncle Shawn released Lindsey and left the apartment. I know what you are thinking. “I bet he flew out the window because that is what vampires do and why else would Josh mention the 18th floor.” But no, my evil vampire uncle did not use the window, instead he went out the door and took the elevator.

Our apartment had a garbage shoot and I dropped Samson in it. And then like five minutes later, while Lindsey and I were crying, Samson came running into the apartment. He was alive and super hyper! He ran around like he does when we get home, constantly jumping at both of us. He then ran over and jumped out the window. This is how I know we were on the 18th floor because I kept screaming “NOOOOO, WE ARE ON THE 18TH FLOOR! HE JUST FELL 18 STORIES! THERE IS NO WAY HE COULD SURVIVE THAT FALL!” I then yelled at Lindsey for leaving the window open in our 18th floor apartment (I definitely stressed that in the dream).

And again, Samson comes running in and is even more excited to see us. At this point, I shut the window and the door. We hug Samson and I tell him that he has to be quiet or else Uncle Shawn will hear him and come back and kill Lindsey.

I woke up pretty freaked out. Also, I was kind of pissed at my Uncle Shawn. Like, I was mad that he would make me do that…in a dream. But my brain was mad at the real him. I was tempted to send him a strongly worded message. Then I remembered it was only a dream. I hugged Samson and went back to sleep.

Dreams are so weird.

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3 thoughts on “A Crazy Weird Dream

  1. Great story, but I feel that it is necessary to clear a few things up to help separate your dreams from reality. First, I am SO sorry about threatening your beloved Lindsey. I would never actually harm her, but if the threat didn’t work I would have had to glamour you, which can cause some brain issues. Either way, Samson had to go. I brought him back to life and endowed him with certain vampire abilities so you couldn’t add to the already ridiculous number of dog photos you’ve posted.
    Dreams are often a window into alternate universes, which vampires are able to pass between and therein lies the real scientific reason behind the stories of teleportation.
    Say hi to Blade for me; he actually only kills vampires that get out of line. The rest is strictly hyperbole to sell books.
    The elevator? Of course I used it, just like you would. I also took it up and went out another window. Flying consumes a lot of energy and draws unwanted attention.
    Well, it’s 1AM now, or as I call it, lunchtime. It is rather cool for a July night so there should be lots of open windows. :)=

    Sleep well…

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