24: Legacy–12:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m.

A new 24! It always feels great to be able to write about this show. Especially the first couple episodes, before the side plots become to ridiculous or the other minor characters truly get on your nerves. The question everyone has is can this show survive without Jack Bauer? And I would say that it definitely can survive, as long as it does not try to make the lead character a carbon copy of Jack. However, that might be a little hard to do because who else can end every terrorist plot ever in exactly 24 hours? JACK FREAKIN’ BAUER!

The plot involves Eric Carter, a former Army Ranger who led a team that took down some top terrorist, whose people are not very happy about it and plan to kill Carter’s team. They come for Carter and begin to interrogate him, which we learn that there was a strong box taken from their leaders base. It turns out that the only other squad member alive is Ben, who happens to have the box and is batshit crazy. Turns out that the box contains a flashdrive, which lists all of the sleeper cells in the United States and the codes to activate them. Naturally Ben has taken the drive and wants money for it or else he will sell it to the terrorists. Carter calls his former boss, who was the head of CTU and she tries to help him out, but unfortunately (and naturally) there is a leak at CTU (seriously do they not run background checks on anyone?), so no one can be told about this little mission. Carter decides the easiest way to get the money is to steal it from a police station that recently seized a ton of money and drugs (he knows this because his brother is a major drug player in the projects).

So there is the story so far. The terrorists and Carter are trying to find the drive. It cracks me up that terrorist cells have this much coordination and strict rules about when they can blow shit up. I mean, once the leader is dead, why wouldn’t they all just go ahead with their plans on their own? It seems really silly that they must wait for a secret code. OR couldn’t the leaders second in command just send out an internet video saying “hey sleepers, just do your thing on Thursday, sorry, but I do not know the codes.”

The most idiotic subplot so far has to be Mr. Harris, Amira, and Drew. This is some teacher and student, who have a thing and they are one of the sleepers. Or maybe just Amira. She must have roped in Mr. Harris after something bad happened to him. Maybe he was accused of banging a student, which caused his wife to leave him and for him to go to jail, but then be cleared? He is angry and a chemist, so he can help her out. Drew finds out about Amira’s terrorist plans and confronts her. Then he finds out that Mr. Harris is banging his ex-girlfriend, which causes the teacher to smash his head off the floor, killing poor Drew. Yeah, it is a pretty silly story. I bet since he is a chemist, they use some chemistry method to dispose of Drew.

The biggest fake terrorist story will be Jimmy Smits campaign manager. Everything is pointing to her being a terrorist. In fact, Carter will torture her at some point (or will they bring her in to CTU and use the torture package that they used in later seasons?). It will turn out to be her ex-boyfriend or something stupid. Also, the story about the brother and Carter’s wife (sorry, I am too lazy to look up names at the moment), ughhhh.

Now if you are thinking that I am not liking the show…you are way wrong. Look, I expect all of these stupid side stories in any season of 24. We all come to see one thing:  our hero being a badass! Carter definitely fits the bill. I mean, he took out a bunch of terrorists while tied to a chair. He killed one with a giant rolling pipe! The dude was just a big ol’ splatter mark. And then he beats up two cops and breaks into a police station. Yeah, he is a badass. Which brings me to my next part (I think I will do this every week):

To start, Jack Bauer would never have allowed three terrorists to take him unaware. The moment the pulled up, he would have been suspicious and started shooting. He would not need his wife to save his life. After killing two of them, he would torture one to find out what he needed to know. His wife would protest, but he would have screamed at her to let him do his job. Once he learned about Ben, he would call Chloe and she would have found him in like three seconds. Jack would confront Ben about the box, shoot his old friend and take the box. He may get a little watery-eyed about having to put down friend, but nothing stands in the way of national security. Jack was never one to trust anyone at CTU, so he would probably have Chloe find the names of all the sleeper cells (probably all in Washington DC for some sleeper cell convention) and he would go around taking them all out, while Chloe figures out who is the mole!