Payton’s First Easter

I have tricked you all into reading this post. I bet you are expecting me to tell you all about Payton’s first Easter…well okay, that is what I will do, but there will also be a short rant in here. Sorry, that is how I am.

Honestly, I cannot say too much about her first Easter, since I worked, then when I finally met up, I was starting to get sick and was pretty miserable. Saturday we spent time with Lindsey’s dad and girlfriend, then on Sunday we went over to Lindsey’s mom’s house. Lindsey did take Payton to church Sunday morning, but naturally I was at work and missed it (yeah, I was super sad about that one). It is funny, people kept asking me if Payton liked her Easter basket. She is three months old. Her reactions are pretty limited at this point. I am not making fun of her, she does laugh and smile, but a basket full of stuff just does not excite her too much.

Quick story about the Easter Bunny. We went to Altoona like a week or two ago for a picture with the bunny. She had been great all day, you know smiling and happy. We go for the picture and she starts screaming. I mean, loud screaming. We tell the photographer that we will feed her and come back. It smelled like she pooped and we decided to do that first. We hit up JCP (that’s what the hip kids call JC Penny, or for you older folks–Pennies) because they have a nice restroom at the Logan Valley Mall.

Naturally this was one of those poops that is everywhere. I was changing her and it took me like 200 wipes to clean up the mess. Some guy came in and gave me a weird look. Whatever dude, act like you don’t poop. Probably wondered why the mom wasn’t changing this little girl (she was clearly standing right outside the men’s room). And that is because I am a good great husband/father, who does not mind changing his daughter’s diaper. So screw you guy.

Anyways, after that we fed her and went back for the picture. She screamed again. I think she inherited my hatred of mascots (remember my annoyance of the Pirate Parrot?). Oh well, this was the best picture we could get. So that was our adventure with the Easter Bunny.

Oh, you are wondering about my little rant? Well here it comes…

When did Easter become a major gift giving holiday? People would actually ask me what we were getting for Payton. My response was usually “a basket of candy, preferably Reese’s cups.” Over the last few years though, I have noticed (as have many others) an odd trend (especially via social media): people going overboard on Easter presents.

When I was a kid, back before the invention of cell phones and Facebook, we got a basket with candy. My mom always bought us a new outfit that we were to wear that day, but that was about it. I think there were a few years where instead of a bunch of candy, they bought us squirt guns, so we could play and probably get into a fight. However, we did not get “presents.” There was nothing to open. There were no Easter Present Lists made. What the shit is this?

Now look, I am not religious (I know, some of you are shocked). And you would think that my opinion on this matter would be “who cares, do whatever you want.” However, that is not where I stand. If you are a Christian, this is the most important and most holy of days. This is the day that Jesus came back from the dead and you know…cleansed the world of sin or something. I am not saying it needs to be a super-solemn occasion, but it should not be an excuse to spoil your children more than they are already. You know what they should be doing that day? Something Christ-like. Maybe instead of buying them a new, fancy toy, take them to a soup kitchen and see poor people. Or whatever. I would say that it is a bad idea to take them around prostitutes to have their feet washed, that could end up getting weird.

I guess what I am saying is, if you are a Christian, then you either need to celebrate the resurrection of Christ properly OR move this holiday we have now to some other time in the spring and call it Spring Time Jubilee (or something equally ridiculous). Sadly, I do not see this shit coming to an end. People are already buying their kids Valentine’s & St. Patrick’s Day “little gifts.” How long until those little gifts become big gifts? Where does it stop? Will I be purchasing Payton an Earth Day gift in a few years? Will I be a shitty parent if I do not spend over $100 for Arbor Day? Come on people, you have to knock this off!

Okay, rant over. Enjoy some more pictures…

I know what you are thinking “Josh, is that Payton with a huge basket of stuff and Samson as well?” Yep. I have nothing to say.