A few friends shared one of those long stories on Facebook. You know the kind, super long, sounds like a real thing, but it just seems too perfect. Naturally, I figured it would be fun to make fun of this post…
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags are not good for the environment.
The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, “We didn’t have this ‘green thing’ back in my earlier days.”
The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”
How dare the young clerk suggest taking care of the environment! First of all, can we just point out that it is 2019. The older lady in this story is how old exactly? I mean, she is out at the grocery store, so what, 70-75? Born between 1944-1949, does that feel right to everyone? This lady would have had her kids in the 1960s and they would have grown up in the 1970s. Keep that in mind…
The older lady said that she was right — our generation didn’t have the “green thing” in its day. The older lady went on to explain:
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.
I wonder how many bacterial outbreaks there were during those days? How many kids died because the bottles were not sterilized well enough? Or how often would bottles break during shipping and waste all of the milk? I agree that we need to find a way minimize the number of plastic bottles tossed into a landfill and perhaps we could go back to glass, reusable milk bottles.
Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn’t do the “green thing” back then.
Okay, we did the same thing when I was a kid. Brown bags for book covers. It was actually pretty fun. There have been multiple debates about plastic vs. paper bags.
We walked up stairs because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the “green thing” in our day.
Guess when escalators became popular? It was not in 2009. It was in the 1970s. You know why stores started putting them in? People were able to quickly get around the store and shop more efficiently. People like this old lady, who would have been much younger back then and probably hauling kids around with her. She was able to shop faster and conserve energy, so then other stores start installing these modern wonders. What cars is this old lady referring to that have 300+ horsepower?
Back then we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.
Again, when did these things become popular? When this old lady was a young mother. I bet she bought those disposable diapers. She was probably one of the first to get one of those new dryers! Hypocrite.
Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she’s right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.
Ughhh. A TV the size of Montana? Get out of here. Also, again, all of those things she talks about (electric mixers), those became popular during her time! The exercise thing cracks me up. Does she think all young people are on treadmills? Does this old lady realize that most people who run on a treadmill actually enjoy running outside more. Most runners I know hate running on the treadmill.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.
Want to know something funny about this old lady? She shaved her legs. Do you know why? She was so susceptible to advertising that believed that smooth legs were a thing, when in fact this was not a thing back in her parents day. Gillette (or maybe BIC) realized that only men were buying razors back in the day and the decided to market razors to women for their legs. You know what kind of razors they pushed? Disposable. So yeah, her generation was SOOOOOO much better than these kids nowadays.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family’s $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the”green thing.” We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the “green thing” back then?
Do you know why kids do not ride their bikes places or walk around town? Fear. There is an unhealthy fear of kids being kidnapped. It was not the kids that started this fear. It was adults. The Satanic Panic of the late 70s/early 80s. These moms freaked out that there were roving Satanic biker cults out there just snatching up kids for weird rituals. It was not true. But those parents became afraid. They stopped allowing their kids those little freedoms. Then, those kids grew up and became parents themselves, they too were afraid. As I often hear parents say “yeah, but you just never know, better safe than sorry.” So parents just drive their kids everywhere now. Oh and you know what? If a kid is out riding a bike, an old lady like this will call the cops! Or at the very least yell at the kids (or chastise the parents).
Quick story, this happened the other day at work. A few young kids were riding bikes through the parking lot. They were not doing anything bad, just riding back and forth, trying to do tricks. You know, shit that twelve year old kids do. This old lady came in and demanded to speak to the manager (me, yay!). She says “you know there are kids out there on bikes?”
Me: Yeah, they seem to be having a good time.
Her: Where are their parents? They should not be out alone. What if they get hurt? You could be liable!
Me: At least they are outside, playing and not inside playing video games.
Her: They are a menace!
Or do you remember when kids were out playing PokemonGO? All the old people were pissed that kids, teens, young adults were outside walking around, getting exercise. How dare they!
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person.
We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off… Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smartass who can’t make change without the cash register telling them how much.
Listen old lady, before you go teaching those young people another lesson, just remember that all of this stuff you are complaining about probably became popular because of your generation.
The funny thing from this stupid story is that young girl did not come off as rude or disrespectful, but the old lady at the end calls her a smartass and belittles her for having tattoos and piercings.
And do you know why the young person probably has troubles making change? Aside from the fact that only like 20% of transactions at the store are cash…the old lady probably railed against school taxes going up for years. She probably had her friends vote against any measure that would increase funding to education. The school had to cut programs, downsize the number of teachers, rethink what they taught in school. So fuck that old lady. She probably has an expired coupon.
