A Future Father’s Biggest Fear

fearI mentioned many months ago that I am not afraid of being a father, in fact I am very excited about it. Obviously though, there are things that scare me. Maybe not the idea of fatherhood, but I would be a liar if I did not have fears.

For starters, you have the really big stuff. I fear that because of climate change, I may never get the chance to take my daughter to Florida. Disney Tennessee just does not have the same magic. I am afraid that someday I will have to explain to her that polar bears were once these amazing animals that used to do neat tricks for Coca-Cola commercials. I am scared that with the advent of robots that my little girl may grow up to find there are zero jobs for anyone and that our robot overlords are capturing us to use as batteries. It frightens me to think about a world where racism and hate have prevailed, where women are treated as inferior to men. And it absolutely freaks me out to think that when my little girl turns twelve, she could ask me why the Pirates have not won a World Series in the past fifty years.

Those are the big fears, but there are small fears too. Like, what do I do if Lindsey is at work and our daughter gets her first period, I barely understand how all that works, let alone trying to explain it to a scared girl (seriously, I grossly misunderstood how tampons worked until I was like 30). Or the time she brings home a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and I have to stifle the urge to strangle the kid (I do not condone murder or attacking children). I fear that as technology advances, what if I cannot keep up? I do not want to be that un-hip dad who cannot use his hologram phone.

My biggest fear.


Some night, I hear my little girl scream “Daddy” and I run into her room to check if she is alright and she says “there’s a spider!” And I will most definitely react like this:



One thought on “A Future Father’s Biggest Fear

  1. The fact that you’re worrying about it at all is a good sign. You’ll be a good dad. The truth is though, that for the foreseeable future, fatherhood will just mean waking up in the middle of the night to change diapers and not being able to go out and catch a movie together without finding a babysitter.

    As for all the future worry stuff, the odds are that we will probably be all right. (https://youtu.be/LiTucKt-gM4)

    That said, I’m bringing my 9-year-old to see Dr. Strange in less than 2 hours.

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