A friend of mine posted this the other day and I was going to respond to it, but I knew my answer would either be too long or if I was typing it quickly on my phone, I would miss some points.
A bunch of the people who did respond said some typical answers like Batman & Wolverine. Plenty of ladies said Thor & Superman (I am guessing Chris Hemsworth and Henry Cavill is a nice combination). Another person mentioned Ant-Man (could shrink down and just climb in everyone’s head and kill them).
I think to tackle this properly, you have to think about how this prospect would go down. So you pick two to protect you and the other seven are trying to kill you. I do not think it matters who is protecting you, but instead who is trying to kill you. For example, take Superman. If he was going to kill someone and it there was nothing off the table, there is nothing any of the others could do to stop him.
Okay, I should interject here. I am not a DBZ fan. So when I say Superman, I am going to have to accept that Goku is as powerful as him and has basically the same skill set. So when I say Superman, just assume that Goku is also included.
If Superman decided that there was nothing he would not do in order to kill you, he could fly into space, grab an asteroid and just hurl it towards the Earth, causing an extinction level event. Try to stop that Wolverine. Thor and Hulk are powerful, but not at Superman’s level (especially if we are going with some of the more powerful versions of Superman–I mean, he literally stopped the Earth spinning and reversed it once) and I think they have even fought before (I know Superman defeated Hulk in Marvel vs. DC).
I have heard the argument that Ant-Man could just crawl inside Superman’s head and then grow, killing the Man of Steel. Not so fast! I think Kyle Hill once did a video about this (particularly about the theory of Ant-Man killing Thanos by crawling up his butt) and he pointed out that we have no reason to believe that a super strong beings insides are not equally super strong. We have seen Superman get shot point blank in the eyeball and the bullet bounces. So what makes people think that the membranes of Superman’s brain are not also super strong and Ant-Man would just not be able to grow? Also, Superman has insane vision and hearing. He can hear sirens all across the world. I am guessing he could hear Ant-Man’s heartbeat and use his vision to spot him before he made it near his body. Then a little heat vision and you have a cooked tiny Scott Lang.
Wolverine would be able to fight Superman, right? He would heal against any attacks and maybe his adamantium claws could cut Superman. But again, Superman can grab him from behind and just launch him into space. Healing factor is great until you fly into the sun. Same goes with Deadpool.
Darth Vader would be the tough one. Does the Force exist in this scenario? Is it science based or magic? Superman is vulnerable to magic. But in all honesty, what attacks would Vader have against Superman? Force-choke? Superman can hold his breath for insanely long periods of time. A lightsaber cannot pierce Beskar steel, so we can assume that the blade will not cut Superman. Superman would just punch him hard enough to explode his fist through his chest.
And now I know many of you are vying for Batman. Look, I get it. I love Batman. He would have Kryptonite and have a plan to stop Superman. Uh huh. But again, in this scenario, there is no reasoning with the Last Son of Krypton. So when Bruce makes his attempt at exposing Clark to the Kryptonite, all Superman has to do is fly high up and begin melting Batman with his heat vision. Or again, dropping an asteroid on him. That will be my solution for everything. Want to kill Hulk? Toss him into the Sun or drop an asteroid on the planet.
So who do I pick. Well I think Superman & Goku would basically be able to defeat the rest easily. One of them could protect you, while the other fought the other seven. And if one of them finally managed to take down one, they would probably be weakened enough to be an easy win for the other protector.
