Baseball season is under way, and the Pirates are…ugh, I do not want to think about the current Pirates. Since I did my favorite pitchers, I guess now would be a good time to do my favorite Pirates hitters (or position players, since some of them make the list because of their defense). This is another cheat week, you are getting my top ten…but first, a few guys who did not make the cut. Oh, and I should mention that these are players that I got to see play. So I am sorry, no Roberto Clemente or Honus Wagner (someone will question my choices with “how could you have a top ten list and not include Willie Stargell?”). 

Back in 2009, when Garrett Jones came over, there was so much excitement on most of the Pirates blogs. A big lefty first baseman. And in his second game, he almost hits for the cycle (missed out on the single, haha). At some point the internet gave him the nickname Garrett Freakin’ Jones (or GFJ for short), but naturally the Pirates broadcasters decided to go with GI Jones. I look at his stats and I just feel like he was better than his numbers ever showed. Or maybe he was just awful in the outfield.

SPANKY! Come on, how could you not love Mike LaValliere as a kid? He was a solid catcher, and was very good at throwing out baserunners. He was also the catcher during the famous Barry Bonds throw in the ’92 NLCS. He still swears that he tagged Sid Bream.

Jason Kendall. If I am only considering his time with the Pirates, then he probably ends up higher, but he kind of turned into an asshole later in his career. I think he has mellowed out a bit since then, but I remember there being some weird thing when he was with the Brewers. He was fun to watch, and he was old-school (he didn’t wear batting gloves!). 

Okay, now we get to the actual list…

10

 

Starling Marte (2012-2019)–such an under-loved Pirates player. But I always loved watching him play, ever since that first AB when he hit a home run. Or his incredible arm, just throwing runners out and making it look effortless (I especially liked when he would try to goad runners into going by dropping the ball). Yeah, he would make some idiotic mistakes (guys with big arms almost always seem to think they can throw everyone out), and there was the 80-game suspension, but it never changed my appreciation of his ability that was instrumental to those few winning seasons in Pittsburgh.

9

Bobby Bonilla (1986-1991)–Part of the Killer Bees back in the 90s. Bonilla will always be remembered more for his contract with the Mets, but there were some amazing moments with the Buccos. When I was a kid, we went to Pittsburgh for a whole series against the Padres. My dad ended up near the dugout (or maybe by the tunnel to the locker room–I can’t remember, I was like six or seven). He was pretty close to a bunch of them, and he said Bonilla was built like “a brick shithouse.” Charlie Croyle was always very eloquent.

8

Jack Wilson (2001-2009)–Talk about another under-loved Pirates player. Although, it feels like once he was gone, everyone realized how good he was. Not only a fantastic fielder, Jack Wilson could hit. He batted .269 during his Pirates tenure. He did not strike out much. Yeah, he lacked power, especially during an era when shortstops were hitting 40+ HRs per season, it made it seem like we could always do better. I think nowadays we would kill for a shortstop who is a black hole, and can get some solid hits. 

7

Ryan Doumit (2005-2011)–The catcher with black eyes, whose walk up song was “Mother” by Danzig. How could you not love the guy? He was not the greatest player, but he always seemed to come through in some big moments. One that I always remember was at a game with my friend Steve, Doumit was batting right-handed, and Steve said something like “we need a home run right now” and I said “Doumit has more power from the left side, but he might get a big hit here.” And sure enough, he crushed a home run. Proved me wrong.

6

Barry Bonds (1986-1992)–I think you all know who he is. He was so fun to watch, and we all knew the greatness was there. He would have probably been further up on the list if he could have thrown out Sid Bream. 

5

Craig Wilson (2001-2006)–The greatest Pirates pinch hitter of all-time. I do not know if that is accurate, but it feels true. He was traded to the Yankees in one of the weirder trades. I am sure that Littlefield could have gotten more than just Shawn Chacon. In some alternate universe, the Pirates keep him around, and he continues to hit home runs for a few seasons. I don’t know, he just felt like a Pittsburgh guy, very blue collar.

4

Jason Bay (2003-2008)–Some great power hitters during those terrible years. Bay won the Rookie of the Year, and he was an instant fun player to watch. My favorite Bay moment comes from John Wehner. He was fairly new to the booth, and he was explaining how Bay could become a better home run hitter if he had more of an uppercut swing. You know, Wehner, who hit four career home runs. I am pretty sure Bay launched one out while he was talking.

3

Brian Giles (1999-2003)–People have some very strong opinions about Brian Giles. I do not want to go into all of that stuff. What I can say, he was the most fun player on those awful teams. Also, I cannot think of a hitter who could absolutely destroy high inside fastballs like him. You knew if a ball was up and in, he was going to send it for a ride. There was also the time he made that great catch by climbing the wall (I think he dug his cleats into the padding? Anyone else remember that?).

2

Andy Van Slyke (1987-1994)–I debated #1 and #2 for a long time. Most of my life, I would have said that Andy Van Slyke was my favorite player, hands down. But as you can see, he ended up second on this list. I have told the story before about how I became an AVS fan. He was a fun player. He made crazy plays in centerfield. He had a fantastic swing. If you read or saw him in interviews, he was very funny. He was a well-rounded player, looking at his numbers during his time in Pittsburgh: .283 AVG, .353 OBP, 117 HRs, 67 3Bs, 293 2Bs, 134 SBs, 5x Gold Glove, 31.0 WAR…just such a solid player. 

1

Andrew McCutchen (2009-2018,2023-now)–I mean, c’mon…who else could it be? We had a few great years, and Andrew McCutchen was one of the main reasons. He was one of the best players in baseball for a few years. I have so many great memories of him, I was at games when he did amazing things. But you know, I think why he moved into the top spot is because of his love for Pittsburgh. Also, just the fun he always seems to be having out there. Even during his worst season in Pittsburgh (I think 2016 when he was battling those back issues–which ended up really hurting his ability to hit the ball like he did in those early years), he was still a positive player in the clubhouse, a leader, and someone you wanted to root for. But if you want to know how I really feel, you can read the post I wrote about him when he was traded.